The Secret Life of the American Teenager?

Well, we were curious. We tuned in... and were left with a truck load of questions.  

Last year, the creator of the long-running television 7th Heaven, debuted a new television program, The Secret Life of the American Teenager.  Raising two daughters -- a young teenager and a preteen -- I have been willing to expose them to issues of the world in order to case and point - how they can rely on a loving God in whom they find their worth so, as a  family we checked it out.  I was told the creator was a believer in Jesus Christ and wanted to continue to put strong ethical, family shows on television, so my hopes were high. 

We were all a little numb after the first episode and lasted only three more shows before we called it quits. The show is about a 14-year old girl who at band camp has sex with a more popular and older classmate and discovers she's pregnant.  Many conversations about purity and abstinence were discussed around our coffee table with the prompting of this television show. The conversations were right on as my daughters also felt like the depiction of the Christians on the show were cheesy and filled with comments about how did this girl not realize what would happen.  So, using Amy the main character, the door was open to speak honestly about purity with our daughters. I think case and point examples with much life application will sustain rather than preaching and or giving a laundry list of do's and don't's.

So, the point of my blog entry for moms and dads: 

Be open with your teens. 

Be willing to answer the hard questions with honesty. 

Talk with your teens about God's plan for purity. 

Expose your teens to scenarios to prepare the how to make the right decision.

Instill in your teens that they belong to God. 

My personal theory is that the more the know, the better off they'll be to stand strong, not give into pressure and above all, remain pure before their God. A strong self esteem and discipline grounded in knowing they belong to God and not man, will sustain. 

Here are some ides to promote purity: 

At age 13, some families give their children a purity ring as a reminder of their first love: a true and holy God.  Take time to explain your child is worth more than rubies and gold... but, a precious child of God.

Recently, we had brunch with a friend of my husband's who is raising teenage daughters, they shared how as a father, he has a responsibility to teach his daughters on how they deserve to be treated on a date and how this exercise of 'Daddy Dates' also demonstrates a genuine Father's love which is a model of God's fatherly love for us.

So, our friend has many 'Daddy Dates' but, there is a special one every year where he plans the date, they dress up and enjoy an evening out. This special date is always on his daughter's half birthday.  My husband has 'Daddy Dates' but, now has decided he will set a special date with his daughters to follow this Godly example.

This past summer, Time Magazine had a cover story called The Pursuit of Teen Girl Purity. The article highlighted a Daddy and Daughter ball where the duos take a vow of purity. This ball is similar to a prom and a celebration of purity is the theme. I think this is a fabulous idea! A memorable event to make a memorable vow. 

As explained by the founding family of this purity ball, the Wilson's. the vow of purity is for parents as well as the young girls.  "before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the areas of purity, to practice fidelity, shun pornography and walk with honor through a "culture of chaos" and by doing so, guide my daughter in love.  

Exposing and discussing today's culture of impurity is vital as this culture is everywhere: from Viagra commercials to Internet pop up advertising.

As an educator, I know that parents that are involved in their child's schooling produces high achieving students. So, applying this theory to purity education, I believe teens who know they can be honest and trust their parent's word and examples will stand strong in their personal convictions. As a parent, I have always held tight to the Proverbs promise, Train up a child in the way they should go and even when they are old, they will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6). In promoting God's purity in my teenage daughters, I will train them now, in knowing when they are older... they will persevere and honor their God.

So, my prayer is NO Secret Life for my American Teenagers... just honesty, openness and encouragement to remain pure. 

Purely honest,

Queen ElizaBeth