Fear?

- verse 30: Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Let me share something with you: I've never understood the concept of "Fear the Lord".
In the post this week, I've focused on Fearing the Lord. I took some time this week to learn more about this somewhat foreign topic (at least to me!).

Question: What does it mean to "fear the Lord"?
Summary of what I discovered this week:

There are two main definitions for the ‘fear’ in ‘Fear the Lord’ that I’ll summarize into 2 words:
a) terror
b) respect

Thankfully, I’ve never felt terror when thinking about God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit. Nope, never. I think that might be reserved for unbelievers (but I’m not 100% sure).

I can think of so many times I have not lived as God would desire -when I've made bad financial decisions (with His money), wasted time (the time He's given me), when I've said unkind words and so much more. However, as a believer, I have been and continue to seek to be respectful of God and that means that I continue to seek a life that honors God.

Why fear (respect) the Lord? When we are respectful, we:
· Listen
· Seek clarity
· Seek to make the best decisions possible

When we lack respect we tend to focus on our own impulses and often make foolish choices resulting in decisions with poor results.

What does it look like? A daily or perhaps hourly prayer like this:

Oh Lord, hear my plea. I am very tempted to do things my way. I keep thinking that “the end with justify the means.” In my heart, I know that this isn’t true, but in my head…well, I just want this so much!

Instead, I pray that You will fill my heart with a trust and respect for You beyond what I can even imagine. Please give me the desire to do what is right, what you have instructed…to ask for what I desire but to be patient in waiting for your response and for respecting your decision. Help me to respect all of the guidelines you’ve given to me…help me to respect you each moment of each day – in speech, attitude and action. Help me to turn away from the things that I know are wrong. Amen.

Some things are always ‘wrong’ (Ten Commandments) while other things are more subtle or in the "gray-zone" as I like to say. Example: Is taking a vacation “wrong”? I don’t think so – usually. The Bible instructs that we need times of rest. However, it may be ‘wrong’ if we are not living within our means and go in debt for that vacation.

So, what does a life with respect (fear) of the Lord really look like?
· Living within your means

· Speaking kindly and gently to others versus spouting out unkind words to ‘make your point’ (wrong approach) – OK, this is sometimes difficult for me!

· Waiting instead of PUSHING, Pushing, pushing to achieve personal desires.
If you know that what you are pursuing is what God would desire, pursue and advocate if necessary (i.e., when the system challenges the Godly pursuit). But, avoid making doors open to get what you want when you know that God would rather you wait – or perhaps He’s already said “No!”

· Saying “I’m sorry”.

· Sharing – your time and our stuff.
I’m good at sharing stuff but I need to work on better use of my time!

· Spending time learning more about God.

If you respect Him, follow through by listening and seeking clarity.
How? Read your Bible, talk to God (prayer) and perhaps seek advice from other Christians.

I’ll pray for you: that you will be in fear of the Lord…that you will develop a respect for the Lord your God…that your attitudes, words and actions will demonstrate this respect (fear).

Don't Wait

To be honest, being single, I hadn't really spent much time "studying" Proverbs 31. Sure I had read it, but not really given it much thought because I was the dreaded "S" word...Single. So...good...I am off the hook. {smile} Then one day it happened one day at church, someone actually used this passage to describe me. Wow, I was overwhelmed. There, standing before the church, was a lady I deeply respected and she was honoring me by considering me a Proverbs 31 woman...even though I was single. It was priceless. Even after the years have passed and I live far away, that is a day I will never forget.

After recently attending a funeral for my friend's parent, I thought...how silly that we wait until people are gone to tell how special they are to us.

So here's my challenge...think back over the years...who are the ladies that have positively influenced you? Are any of them...hard workers, willing to help others, wears strength & dignity, or fears the Lord? If so, thank God for them and then tell them what they have meant to you. Go out of your way to tell them how they have blessed your life!

Proverbs 31: Portrait of a Godly Woman

Above are a few pictures of women in my life who I look up to and see as models/examples of Proverbs 31 women.

Go to http://www.wcg.org/lit/bible/poet/prov31.htm to read more about what I found about "Proverbs 31: Portrait of a Godly Woman" and you can print out 5 pages on what this means. I enjoyed reading it because it helps me put into perspective how we can take this proverb in the Bible and relate it to today/our lives/today's women. I also like knowing that it's not only/just for married women or mothers, but for single girls too like myself.

Here are a few quotes from it I think will interest you to go to the website and check it out:

"But what about today’s woman? Of what value can this ancient poem be to the diverse, complex life-styles of women today? To the married, to the single, to the young, to the old, to those working outside the home or inside the home, to those women with children or without children? It is more relevant than you might at first expect — although it is also too good to be true."

"When we examine this ancient biblical ideal of womanhood, we do not find the stereotyped housewife occupied with dirty dishes and laundry, her daily life dictated by the demands of her husband and her children. Nor do we find a hardened, overly ambitious career woman who leaves her family to fend for itself.
What we find is a strong, dignified, multi-talented, caring woman who is an individual in her own right. This woman has money to invest, servants to look after and real estate to manage. She is her husband’s partner, and she is completely trusted with the responsibility for their lands, property and goods.
She has the business skills to buy and sell in the market, along with the heartfelt sensitivity and compassion to care for and fulfill the needs of people who are less fortunate. Cheerfully and energetically she tackles the challenges each day brings. Her husband and children love and respect her for her kind, generous and caring nature.
But with all her responsibilities, first and foremost, she looks to God. Her primary concern is God’s will in her life. She is a woman after God’s own heart. Let’s examine the characteristics of this remarkable woman — a role model for Christian women today."

"The model woman described in Proverbs is a portrait of ideal womanhood. The focus of this portrait is a woman’s relationship with God, not her specific abilities or marital status. The Proverbs 31 woman realizes that regardless of her natural talents or acquired skills, or all her accomplishments, her strength comes from God.
Who is a virtuous woman today? Proverbs 31 tells you that it is the woman who puts God first. The ideal woman of Proverbs 31 should encourage all women everywhere. Cultures change, but this woman’s God-inspired character still shines brightly across the centuries."

Be encouraged!

You don't have to be perfect/ideal/have it all together.

Nobody does and nobody can't; even if it seems or looks that way.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Ok, I have to start out seconding (is that even a word??) Amy's post. I have really felt like I was digging and digging and could not get out this week. We have been so busy and I can totally relate to-- nope, no time! My husband and I just found out today that we are going to have our second baby on October 22nd (ish). We have a 16 month old right now that is such a JOY, but life can already be a little overwhelming. One second I am overjoyed about our new little life, and the next I am having a panic attack thinking that I can barely handle my life now.
As I read Proverbs 31:10-31 I think- Man, she has it together! It is hard to relate to "Her lamp does not go out at night" vs 18 when I am ready for bed at 2:00 in the afternoon!!!!! Not to mention being a good wife and focusing on that when there is so much else going on in our little world.
But for me, it all comes back to seeking Christ in all I do. I have seen recently that when my focus is not on Christ first, things can go down hill fast!! I really believe that if we are constantly seeking Christ's face through His word, these characteristics will slowly start to develop in you.
My prayer for you (and me) this week is that we can focus on us, and not in the way society would tell you to do this, but in the way God tells us to do this. And by that I mean that we give ourselves time with the Lord first and learn to say no!

Super Mom

So often I find myself getting caught up in the daily routine of being a mom. Taking the kids to school, helping with homework, cooking dinner, driving them to soccer practice....Super Mom...all in a days work. But what really makes a mom a supermom? Although the daily activities are important, are those the things I want to be remembered for? As I was reading through Proverbs this week I couldn't help but ask myself these questions. What are the lasting values I want to instill in my girls and am I being a good example of what a Christian woman and mother should be? Am I trustworthy, kind, generous, diligent, compassionate and wise? Do I strive every day to follow the Lord Jesus Christ and to make his presence known? There are many days that I fall far short of this goal, but can my children see that I am trying? Do they understand that these things are truly the important things in life?

In Proverbs 31 vs. 28 it says...."Her children arise up, and call her blessed." How lucky would I be if someday my own children would call me blessed. If the legacy I leave is not what I've done for them, but what I've instilled in them.

I'm digging it!

In the mid-eighties when I was 12 my family moved in to a newly constructed house. My grandfather bought a Ginkgo tree for us to plant in our front yard. I agreed to help my dad plant the tree thinking it would be fun. Now let me preface this by saying my dad’s idea of help was for me to dig the hole while he gave instruction from the front porch as he was sipping a glass of ice cold lemonade. He “supervised” while I dug and dug, and then dug some more. I kept asking if it was enough and he kept telling me to keep digging. Finally after the hole was so deep you could not even see the top of my head if I was standing in it, my dad’s friend drove by and asked what I was digging. We proudly showed him the tree ready to be planted and his reply was, “When do you want that thing to come up – 1999?”

Needless to say, the hole was way too deep – but why am I telling you this and what the heck does it have to do with Proverbs 31? A modern day woman has many pressures – being every thing to every one, not knowing when to say enough is enough – you all know what I mean and are probably thinking of all the things you have to do right now rather than finish reading this post! We are literally digging ourselves deeper and deeper away from what is really important. We continue to ask if we are finished and another distraction will pop up and we are once again digging away. Don’t you think God is wondering when you have time for Him – or even for yourself?
Women are nurturers by nature but at the same time we are over committers. We can go, go, go with the best of them but that's not necessarily a good thing. I am only responsible for myself and my husband and yet my agenda is packed for weeks - I don't even want to imagine what it would be like if I had a child to take care of!
Recently I asked a friend to have lunch but she was busy. What about dinner – nope, she had plans. Morning coffee? No time. I could see her hole getting deeper and deeper.
The Proverbs 31 woman is busy, but her personality profile ends with the fact that she feared the Lord. Surely this means she doesn’t dig her hole so deep that her growth is stunted and it takes forever for her true beauty to be seen above the surface? She manages her time and probably has used the word 'No' once or twice. We all need to try that once in a while. At the end of the day – do you climb out of the hole, step over all the dirt and put down your shovel to join God on the porch for some lemonade?

I know this is all makes a nice story but in reality, we all have responsiblities and others counting on us so it's not as easy as it sounds. Here's the thing - we could all use a break from the realities of life but WE are the only ones standing in our way.

I'll leave you with this story on my favorite topic - shopping! I really love to shop but my husband can't stand it. If I take him to the store with me we have to practice in the car - what are you getting - do you have the list? Let's go right to it - get in and get out! As soon as I walk in the doors I lose my mind and start looking at other things that were not at all a part of the original plan. He firmly places a hand on my shoulder and guides me back to reality. Focus, he'll tell me. Hmmm...sounds an awful lot like what God would do to us if we let Him. Feel His hand on your shoulder this week gently guiding you and urging you to maintain focus.

Free to be me...

Perfect? Perfectly Not!

I've read this passage just to be sure once again, and PERFECT is not how God describes the Proverbs 31 woman. (Can you hear the cheering from the crowd?) There are many attributes listed in this passage that set the measuring stick to unattainable heights yet, PERFECT is not the label God has placed on this woman. 

For so long, I believed she as so perfect I could only stand to read about her during Mother's Day when her attributes are commonly laid out again as a celestial check list. However, this week, I thank God for dissecting the Proverbs 31 woman for me into three principles: devotion, generosity and influence.

God is calling me to these three principles in many areas of my life to find balance. The Proverbs 31 woman is balanced, she's not all that and a bag of chips, everyday for every season. Her balance is that she is daily devoting herself to God and her family. She's generous with her time, resources and talents and due to this devotion and generosity she has a Godly influence on her world. 

So, here are questions God placed before me this week I seek to be his Proverbs 31 woman in devotion, generosity and influence.

Devotion: Am I devoted to my God? my husband? my children? Am I devoted to hearing his instructions and words daily? Am I daily growing in his love for him and others?

Generosity: Am I using my talents, resources and time to show God's love and kindness? I am giving or taking from those in my life? Am I generous with kind words? Am I generous with my time or self-seeking in the activities I use my time for? Is my own personal agenda in the way of the compassion I should be demonstrating?

Influence: Do I hide in my shell or allow God to be seen in my daily activities? Am I available and open to the influence God desires for me? Am I emulating God to show a Godly influence? Am I defining God when I influence others in my words and actions?

So, should the Proverbs 31 woman be feared because she's been put on  pedestal? Not at all! She's not perfect, she's balanced. She is the wise example, that this journey to become a Proverbs 31 woman requires daily submission and devotion to the one true God, who is perfect. I am thankful my charge in this life in not to be perfect but to devote myself daily to my God and trust the Proverbs 31 woman he sees in me will grow and bloom with great transparency.