The Big Kiss-off!

When you are a kid, it’s easy to make friends. Picture yourself on the playground – you spot a new girl – she comes over to you and says “I like your shoes!” You reply, “I like your barrettes! Want to go play on the swings?” You join hands and skip away without a care in the world, just you and your instant BFF.

As an adult it’s just not that simple, or so I’ve found. Lives change, priorities change, people change. It’s hard to make time to invest in yourself yet alone others. It's more about quality and not so much quanity.

Back in the Spring of 1994, I was just back from a college semester abroad in London and feeling very cosmopolitan and hip and yet a little out of the loop. My best friend and roommate had moved in to an off campus 1 bedroom apartment – great for parties. At one of the first parties, the un-thinkable happens – I violated rule #1 – a hook up with my best friends crush. I got caught kissing the boy, get kicked out, the friendship was over.

My best memories from college revolve around this friend who surely would have been a bridesmaid in my wedding. The boys name was Bubba. I lost my best friend for kissing a boy named Bubba. How dumb could I be? Knowing I was in the wrong I tried to make it right but to no avail. We never spoke after that night.

Now fast forward to the present…thanks to Facebook my former best friend contacted me and we restored our friendship. This Wednesday we get to see each other for the first time in 15 years!! We are meeting for a girls only night at the Opryland hotel and will probably stay up all night catching up – I cannot wait! She cannot wait!! We both cannot believe we haven’t spoken in so long because of a silly boy named Bubba!!

You might have your own version of this story to tell. Friendship is hard – you have to commit time and energy to make it work.

Proverbs 27:6
‘Faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy.’

What does this mean? I left wounds in my friend by betraying her trust. Sometimes wounds from a faithful friend come from telling the truth instead of sugar coating. A true friend is someone who isn’t afraid to deal with the hard and ugly things as well as the good. Isn’t this what Christ does for us? He doesn’t always tell us what we want to hear but rather what we need to hear. I would rather have this kind of friendship with my Savior, who is capable of healing my wounds, then kisses from the enemy because I know no matter how desirable those kisses seem at the time, just like the kisses with Bubba. In the end it will lead us to sin, be eternally destroyed and banished infinitely in hell.

My husband and I are in Nashville this week for my sister-in-law's high school graduation. I think back to my graduation and can remember someone sang Michael W Smith's song 'Friends are Friends Forever' at the ceremony. The chorus goes like this:

And friends are friends forever,
if the Lord's a Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Fathers hand we know
That a lifetimes not too long to live as friends

At the time, I just saw the song as an anthem for my teen angst. High school was over and we were all headed in different directions, but according to the song, we'd always remain friends. Now I see that the song is actually encouraging me to nurture and appreciate meaningful relationships, to develop a few close friends and build those relationships for a lifetime.

You know the saying if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck then it must be a duck? Think about friends you have had throughout your lifetime where your behavior patterns have changed based on who you surround yourself with. It is true we are the company we keep. The most important characteristic a friend should have is the love of Christ in them - so it's time to give Satan the big kiss-off and remember...friends are friends forever, if the Lords THE LORD of them!


(My fortune cookie today read 'The time is right to make new friends'. You think God is trying to tell me something?)