Under the Influence

The story of Bathsheba starts with true heartache - an un-avoidable adulterous affair, an intentional death of her husband, a marriage of convenience, a death of a child. Sounds like next weeks episodes of One Life to Live to me! The Bible is filled with stories of heartache which proves that nobody is exempt from it – even followers of Christ. Like Jen says,
‘If your heart beats, you will suffer. It is part of the human condition. No amounts of “shoulds” will change that. We own corrupted bodies in a corrupted world; we’re plagued with sin, death, and decay; we are born to imperfect parents and have imperfect relationships; everyone gets sick and all of us will die.’
After being Debbie Downer there is good news - God does not allow suffering for no reason(Go God!). It’s hard sometimes to justify why God allows bad things to happen to good people. But think about this – David was a good person. His name is mentioned more than any other man in the Bible, second only to Jesus. He was just plain good people! But he allowed his greatness to go to his head and because of his actions (bedding Bathsheba, trying to “fix” it and when that didn’t work, having the problem killed), God’s punishment was the loss of a son.

Now let’s move on to our next truth from Ms. Understood – Women have the gift of influence.

A woman’s influence has brought us trendy haircuts (think the ‘Rachel’), the right to be treated as equals (Rosa Parks), the permission to wear sleeveless shirts (Michele Obama), the need to purchase expensive shoes (Carrie Bradshaw) and the importance of saying please and thank you (my mother). All women have been influenced both positively and negatively and have also influenced others, with or without being aware.

It’s amazing how our behavior patterns can change under the influence of someone else. I think back in my life on times when I have been influenced by another woman around me. When I visit Nashville I come home with a southern accent and a potty mouth due to the influence of my good friend that makes me feel funny and free. When I watch my hubby play ball I sit and gossip and giggle under the influence of the other softball wives. In college I smoked cigars and ran amuck under the influence of my crazy girlfriends as we found ourselves on our own for the first time.

I should heed Jen’s advice when she tells us,
‘Be certain your influence supports God’s holy standards before you use it or allow anyone else to borrow it.’
I like to think of myself as a not very influenced individual. I march to the beat of my own drummer. Or maybe not so much? If I really think about it, I’m pretty sure I easily let others influence me. The scarier part of this is not being the receiver of influence but being the giver of it. I hope and pray my influence has not been a bad witness to the women in my life and even as I type this I know there are times when it has.

Bathsheba fell in to this trap as well. She started out being influential in a positive way and was able to restore her son Solomon to the throne. But then she was deceived by a kind word from a very sneaky man and tried to use her influence with her own son to do something that would eventually lead to his demise. Thank goodness God was on the side of the righteous and this did not happen. But how many times have you pulled a Bathsheba? Good intentions do not equal positive influence.

Jen says something I have never really thought about but I like it!
‘A woman affects a man’s soul, changing his mind, his direction, his life. Through your gentle advice and godly suggestions, God can rend a man’s heart.’
I was curious so I thought I’d go to the 2 men in my life and ask them what influence I had on them.

My dad's take on my influence as a daughter:
When they are little you can't resist their big brown eyes at bedtime influencing you to tell just one more story.
When they are teens you continue to be influenced to teach them how to drive because you don't want them to get hurt.
When they meet the love of their life they influence you to go along with it even when they are breaking your heart by getting married because you know you can't support them forever.
When they are adult daughters and you are aging their take on life being not all so serious keeps you from becoming a grouchy old person.
When they are mid-life adults and you are trying to figure out the retirement thing and downsizing your life they contribute wisdom in decision making as they advise you not to buy that next too expensive car or another piece of property.
When you have daughters it changes your perspective on the issues of life and you become more gentle wanting to give something back.
When you have a wife and multiple daughters as the only man in the house you are influenced to shop, pick up stuff and clean your act as a man because you sure don't want to dissappoint the women in your life.

My husbands take on my influence as a wife:
She influences me to close the cabinet doors and put down the toilet seat.
She influences me to throw it away if I don't need it.
She influences me to not use the display towels or soaps.
Her influence as a wife encourages me to be a better husband.
Her laid back attitude influences me to work on not taking things so serious (like softball), to turn the other cheek and to remember my own witness.

I feel so loved and happy that my influence has had positive results in the men in my life! I pray I can pay better attention to the power of my own influence and ensure that I am using it only for good and not evil.
This week, think about how you hold up under the influence!!