Kindness & a Stand Up Freezer

Kindness –
Isn’t it pretty easy to be kind to people who are kind to you? I think so. I think the difficulty with kindness comes when others are less than kind or nice.

I was raised by a wonderful mother. She took me to church, loved me, and spent endless hours encouraging learning, service and more. As a single mom, I saw her support our family and do household chores that a dad would have managed in many two-parent families.

For better or worse, her example instilled in me a sense of responsibility and self-reliance. She also encouraged us to advocate for justice. While those characteristics can be good in some situations they can also be challenging in others.

Justice can be viewed as kind but if not handled correctly, it can be an arrogant approach to “making one’s point”, “having the last word”, or “getting what you deserve.”

I have struggled with the fine balance between the two most of my adult life and have probably been less kind in certain situations than Christ would desire. Well, I had one of those experiences this morning:

If you hadn’t picked up on it yet, I’m an avid ‘yard saler’.
Why? I’m committed to using resources wisely, I love the thrill of the hunt and well, I just like getting out by myself on Saturday mornings when my sister is usually with my kids. The only other activity I can come up with on Saturday mornings at 630 am is the gym and well – no. I also get awesome deals.

This morning, I went to a sale where there was a standup freezer for $30. I could tell it was in great shape, from a good home and would fit perfectly in my garage. I spoke to the owner (who was actually the neighbor of the yard sale hosts) and confirmed that I wanted to buy it but would pay all together once I’d shopped their entire sale. She acknowledged this agreement. When her husband arrived in the driveway, I confirmed this agreement.

I went on to shop for items for sale by the homeowners – nice little boy clothes for my son, a business suit in my size for $5, new designer shoes still in the box for $1, etc.

Time lapse – Less than 5 minutes; Distance traveled – 8 feet:
I was having a nice conversation with the homeowner when I turned around to see the owner of the freezer loading it onto a hand truck. I asked: “Where is the freezer going?” I just sold it.

Gut reaction: “WHAT the @)#$(#*@)$*? You just agreed to sell it to me. That is a tacit agreement – legally binding. You liar. Don’t you stand by your word? What are you teaching your kids?”

Actual response: Thankfully, I didn’t actually say any of those things. I responded with: “Oh, I thought we agreed that I would buy it.” I heard a big sigh from the owner of the home and her other friend. In that moment, I was so thankful for their presence – they reminded me in the next instant my need to be like Christ and that it ISN’T about:
-me getting what I want
-me making a point

In inhaled and walked across the driveway to regroup. Honestly, I was ticked. But with the help of the Lord, I was able to let go of the desire for self-promotion, justice, making my point and getting my way (or even just having the last word). In that moment, I knew it was more important to be an example to the two other women in the driveway – the women I’d been talking with for ~5 minutes.

The freezer made its way on the hand truck to its new owners. I was able to be kind and an example – a light in the world.

When I told my Mom she responded with “You’ll get a better one” and then went on to: "I can’t believe you didn’t explain a tacit agreement and the nature of it – legally binding!" Inside, that is exactly how I’d wanted to respond but instead I let it go. I avoided having the last word. I was kind when someone else wasn’t.

For me, that is the side of kindness that is so much more challenging than giving to the needy, finding ways to help others, etc. Being kind and showing grace in challenging times and with challenging people and letting my selfishness go is more important (and difficult). But for the Grace of God Go I....

Kindness - its a great option! Difficult - yes. Great - yes.