Fear?

- verse 30: Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Let me share something with you: I've never understood the concept of "Fear the Lord".
In the post this week, I've focused on Fearing the Lord. I took some time this week to learn more about this somewhat foreign topic (at least to me!).

Question: What does it mean to "fear the Lord"?
Summary of what I discovered this week:

There are two main definitions for the ‘fear’ in ‘Fear the Lord’ that I’ll summarize into 2 words:
a) terror
b) respect

Thankfully, I’ve never felt terror when thinking about God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit. Nope, never. I think that might be reserved for unbelievers (but I’m not 100% sure).

I can think of so many times I have not lived as God would desire -when I've made bad financial decisions (with His money), wasted time (the time He's given me), when I've said unkind words and so much more. However, as a believer, I have been and continue to seek to be respectful of God and that means that I continue to seek a life that honors God.

Why fear (respect) the Lord? When we are respectful, we:
· Listen
· Seek clarity
· Seek to make the best decisions possible

When we lack respect we tend to focus on our own impulses and often make foolish choices resulting in decisions with poor results.

What does it look like? A daily or perhaps hourly prayer like this:

Oh Lord, hear my plea. I am very tempted to do things my way. I keep thinking that “the end with justify the means.” In my heart, I know that this isn’t true, but in my head…well, I just want this so much!

Instead, I pray that You will fill my heart with a trust and respect for You beyond what I can even imagine. Please give me the desire to do what is right, what you have instructed…to ask for what I desire but to be patient in waiting for your response and for respecting your decision. Help me to respect all of the guidelines you’ve given to me…help me to respect you each moment of each day – in speech, attitude and action. Help me to turn away from the things that I know are wrong. Amen.

Some things are always ‘wrong’ (Ten Commandments) while other things are more subtle or in the "gray-zone" as I like to say. Example: Is taking a vacation “wrong”? I don’t think so – usually. The Bible instructs that we need times of rest. However, it may be ‘wrong’ if we are not living within our means and go in debt for that vacation.

So, what does a life with respect (fear) of the Lord really look like?
· Living within your means

· Speaking kindly and gently to others versus spouting out unkind words to ‘make your point’ (wrong approach) – OK, this is sometimes difficult for me!

· Waiting instead of PUSHING, Pushing, pushing to achieve personal desires.
If you know that what you are pursuing is what God would desire, pursue and advocate if necessary (i.e., when the system challenges the Godly pursuit). But, avoid making doors open to get what you want when you know that God would rather you wait – or perhaps He’s already said “No!”

· Saying “I’m sorry”.

· Sharing – your time and our stuff.
I’m good at sharing stuff but I need to work on better use of my time!

· Spending time learning more about God.

If you respect Him, follow through by listening and seeking clarity.
How? Read your Bible, talk to God (prayer) and perhaps seek advice from other Christians.

I’ll pray for you: that you will be in fear of the Lord…that you will develop a respect for the Lord your God…that your attitudes, words and actions will demonstrate this respect (fear).

I'm digging it!

In the mid-eighties when I was 12 my family moved in to a newly constructed house. My grandfather bought a Ginkgo tree for us to plant in our front yard. I agreed to help my dad plant the tree thinking it would be fun. Now let me preface this by saying my dad’s idea of help was for me to dig the hole while he gave instruction from the front porch as he was sipping a glass of ice cold lemonade. He “supervised” while I dug and dug, and then dug some more. I kept asking if it was enough and he kept telling me to keep digging. Finally after the hole was so deep you could not even see the top of my head if I was standing in it, my dad’s friend drove by and asked what I was digging. We proudly showed him the tree ready to be planted and his reply was, “When do you want that thing to come up – 1999?”

Needless to say, the hole was way too deep – but why am I telling you this and what the heck does it have to do with Proverbs 31? A modern day woman has many pressures – being every thing to every one, not knowing when to say enough is enough – you all know what I mean and are probably thinking of all the things you have to do right now rather than finish reading this post! We are literally digging ourselves deeper and deeper away from what is really important. We continue to ask if we are finished and another distraction will pop up and we are once again digging away. Don’t you think God is wondering when you have time for Him – or even for yourself?
Women are nurturers by nature but at the same time we are over committers. We can go, go, go with the best of them but that's not necessarily a good thing. I am only responsible for myself and my husband and yet my agenda is packed for weeks - I don't even want to imagine what it would be like if I had a child to take care of!
Recently I asked a friend to have lunch but she was busy. What about dinner – nope, she had plans. Morning coffee? No time. I could see her hole getting deeper and deeper.
The Proverbs 31 woman is busy, but her personality profile ends with the fact that she feared the Lord. Surely this means she doesn’t dig her hole so deep that her growth is stunted and it takes forever for her true beauty to be seen above the surface? She manages her time and probably has used the word 'No' once or twice. We all need to try that once in a while. At the end of the day – do you climb out of the hole, step over all the dirt and put down your shovel to join God on the porch for some lemonade?

I know this is all makes a nice story but in reality, we all have responsiblities and others counting on us so it's not as easy as it sounds. Here's the thing - we could all use a break from the realities of life but WE are the only ones standing in our way.

I'll leave you with this story on my favorite topic - shopping! I really love to shop but my husband can't stand it. If I take him to the store with me we have to practice in the car - what are you getting - do you have the list? Let's go right to it - get in and get out! As soon as I walk in the doors I lose my mind and start looking at other things that were not at all a part of the original plan. He firmly places a hand on my shoulder and guides me back to reality. Focus, he'll tell me. Hmmm...sounds an awful lot like what God would do to us if we let Him. Feel His hand on your shoulder this week gently guiding you and urging you to maintain focus.

Free to be me...

How, not what

I spend a lot of time thinking about goals & outcomes, legacy and purpose. I am sure in my writings here on this blog I will revisit these topics:
· What is my purpose in life?
· What is my legacy – what will pass from me to others – now or upon my death?
· What are my goals and what should my goals look like?

These thoughts come down to one fundamental question: Am I living my one God-given life focused on the right things? There is no dress-rehearsal for life. This is it! So, am I using my life as I should? What does God say about this?

I think that Proverbs 31 gives Christian women of all walks and phases of life a description of what our lives should look like. Proverbs 31 is the “how I should live”. Other places in the Bible describe purpose (for a quick study on that topic, see Rick Warren’s the Purpose Driven Life). Proverbs 31 is not about purpose but rather about how I should live my life (according to God’s design).

Let me give some examples of the characteristics embodied in God’s design for women:
· Trustworthy
· Industrious; uses her hands for good
· Prepared; anticipates and prepares for hard times
· Hard worker; business woman
· Fit; presentable in appearance
· Seeks quality
· Helps poor & needy
· Independent; supportive
· Wise
· Kind in speech
· Respected by those close to her and in her community
· Loves God (this should probably be #1!)

Some have said that the Proverbs 31 woman is “out of date” and “not relevant” in contemporary life. Based on some of the qualities listed here, I’d beg to differ. I think these qualities are very applicable to the modern woman – whether a single woman, a stay-at-home mother, a working woman or an ‘mature’ woman. This passage does not say all women need to stay home, take care of their children/home school and sew while their husbands work – although that is acceptable too! This passage focuses on HOW women should live in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. It does not focus on the current debate of where women should spend their days. This is “how”, not “what”!

I personally revisit this passage often – to remind me HOW I should be living. I will be honest and say I struggle with living by this design. For example: Being Fit. Um, yeah. I guess I could use the standard ‘I’m too busy’ excuse. I am raising two toddlers as a single mother, keeping a household going, working, paying bills, volunteering, attending to my family and friends, etc. However, when I come back to Proverbs 31, I recognize that God has the best perspective for my life. If I’m not healthy (fit), how will I continue to fulfill all of the other roles He has for me – long term. I know this in my head. I understand it and yet I still struggle with it.

It is comforting to know that my Creator does indeed have the best in mind for me. Now, I need His strength in living it! If I live in His design, my questions about legacy will be answered. He’s designed these characteristics to be a central part of the legacy I will pass along to others – specifically to my children.

Next week I’ll comment on other struggles from HOW we should live our lives as daughters of the King of Kings even though it isn’t always easy.

Women – Spend some time reading this Proverbs 31. Reflect on it. Pray that God will reveal the deeper meanings of this passage to you and help you to apply them to your life – where you are today and where you are going. Don’t become overwhelmed by this passage. It’s the Bible. It’s all good. But, this passage was written for us!

Men – I’d encourage you to seek this in women, help your wife develop these characteristics, nurture your daughters in these ways and teach your sons to seek a wife with these qualities.

The Proverbs 31 Super Woman

After reading Proverbs 31:10-31 I feel like I am one sandwich short of a picnic. I know this passage of scripture is important because it is talking to me, a woman, and is saying how I am to live my life, It also comes straight from God’s word. The Proverbs 31 woman is like the Jennifer Anniston of the entertaiment industry – everyone woman wants to be her and every man wants to be with her. I mean I can get the Rachel haircut, but can I get encompass the spirit of her personality?
But how am I supposed to live up to this ideal woman when I can’t grasp what the verses are saying? Seeking wool and flax, making bed coverings, not eating the bread of idleness – does this apply to me? Can I get flax at Target? I can’t sew and I have no idea if I eat bread that is idle – I eat a lot of bread and I'm ususally eating it while being idle on my couch so does this count? After a little research and a quick prayer for clarity, I started to break this passage down.
I started at the beginning again and this time I didn’t get any farther than the first verse.
Proverbs 31:10 reads ‘An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.’
Wow - now this takes me back to the best piece of advice I ever received as a teenage girl.
It started out with a crush. We were both juniors, I was in high school and he was in college. After a few weeks of knowing him, he stopped by to see me at work and introduced me to his FIANCEE!! I was bummed to say the least, but once I knew dating him was off the table, I really started paying attention to the advice and encouragement he had been giving me all along. His motive was purely to help me grow in Christ and although I don’t even remember his name, the one simple thing he told me still sticks in my mind today.
“Every man is looking for a Godly woman”
Excellent wife – more precious than jewels – are you following me people? (Ok now I’m just copying Beth Moore!!)
Hmmm, a Godly woman. Ok, my dad is a pastor…it’s in my blood to be a Godly woman right? Yeah we all know what they say about pasors kids though.
These words followed me everywhere - the rest of high school, college and my single working years after college. Every man I dated I knew was not the one because they were definitely not looking for a Godly woman!! When I finally met my husband at of all places, a club called The Lava Lounge, being a Godly woman had been placed on the back burner. I was 23 and all my friends were married and starting families after having earned their MRS in college. A night out with friends from work turned in to a God given chance encounter with a man who actually was looking for a Godly woman! And of all places at a dark night club with lamps glowing with neon lava!! He was playing the part of wing man that night for his best friend. I was playing the part of girl who did not know which direction she was headed. The Bible tells stories of God using the weak and let me tell you, I had the T-shirt!! I had no direction and a million wrong paths facing me. I had made choices I knew were wrong – nothing major – but definitely not along the path of the righteous. And then God blessed me with a Godly man who to this day encourages me to be a Godly woman - a Proverbs 31 woman. (Who apparently likes to shop just like me, but we’ll get in to that next week).
I would encourage you to read Proverbs 31 for what it is but don’t be discouraged by it. I’m a music lover and I love when a song comes around with powerful lyrics that just say it all. The song that describes the essence of who I am in it’s title ‘Free to be Me’ by Francesca Battistelli also sums up how I felt when faced with living up to the Proverbs 31 woman.
The lyrics say:
Got a couple bumps in my fender, I’ve got a couple rips in my jeans,
Trying to put the pieces together, perfection is my enemy
On my own I’m so clumsy, but on your shoulders I can see
I’m free to be me

Don’t try to be a Proverbs 31 woman in one week, it is something you should strive to be throughout your lifetime.
Thanks for reading!