The Princess Myth

A Princess??

Princess according to Miriam Webster:
a female member of a royal family ; especially: a daughter or granddaughter of a sovereign

I’m going to get on a little soap box for a minute
(those outspoken types can do that from time to time – story for another post). Here goes...

I have always had a problem with the whole princess concept. Parents sometimes call their daughters Princess, they tell them they are princesses and Disney makes millions (maybe billions) on the idea of the Princess (and the Prince).

Honestly, it makes me sick. Very few people on the face of this Earth are princesses (seriously, we could count them up)...or so I thought. To me the idea of teaching my daughter that she is a princess is like saying: the world revolves around you honey – get used to it! Well, that isn’t true. [Myth]

A household does often revolve around a new baby – at least initially. Families that never move beyond spending every waking minute telling the child she is perfect and a princess becomes, in my opinion, dysfunctional. Child = center. Child gets disappointed. Parents (and others) work harder to let child know she is the center of the universe. Child grows up and realizes it was all a lie. Child (now adult) is waiting for handouts and for someone to fix her problems. How do I know this? I work with adult students at a university and many of them suffer from this experience.

When I think about a princess I think about people in training to become the queen. Queens sit on thrones (at least in my head). Princesses look pretty, wear nice things, comb their hair and live a self-centered existence (check out Disney). They don’t have or respect their mothers. They are selfish.

Now I must admit that I was never a girly-girl. My sister was but I wasn’t. I did do ballet and tap for many years, enjoyed crafts and wore braids and a few dresses. However, I loved to collect worms (and scare my mother), swing from ropes, play in the creek, ski, camp and more. My girliest interest: Strawberry Shortcake and her clan.

I am so thankful my mother didn’t raise me to be a princess in the traditional sense (sit around, expect doting, and wait for the knight in shining armor – another princess-associated myth that brings heartbreak after heartbreak for many teenage and adult-age women).

As the mother of a 3 year old daughter, I’ve realized how difficult it is to shield my child from this whole Disney/pop-culture princess deal. Some GOOD NEWS (an a-ha moment) occurred in the last year when a Christian mom of three (including one daughter) pointed out that all Christian girls/women are all daughters of THE KING – The King of kings. That by definition makes us princesses. [Myth Buster]

After pondering this for a while, I realized that I could let go of some of the anti-princess approach I’d been taking. Instead, I focused my attention on promoting the following with my daughter:
a. Becoming a daughter of the King (salvation)
b. Living like Jesus (the Prince of Peace)
c. Being a Princess who serves others (versus just looking pretty while being waited on/spoiled rotten by others)

Now some of you might read this and think I was off the deep end – princesses are a part of every little girl’s life but honestly, this concept DID NOT work for my family. Sorry. Now armed with the new princess focused on loving God (King), loving Jesus (Prince) and loving others (the commoner) I have semi-embraced this approach for my daughter being a Princess.

Perhaps this will help her to avoid so much heartache from expecting too much from others and waiting for a guy to come along and rescue her. (It must be a difficult a challenge for those guys - being a Prince and meeting the needs of his Princess??)

Think about it…helping girls to grow up to become women with at least one less area of misunderstanding in their own lives.

My daughter seeing herself as the daughter of the King (a princess) – wow! That sounds great and is really the most important role we have as Christian parents (stewards of the children with whom God has blessed us)!

Other revelations:
-I am a Princess (as much as that use to turn my stomach)...a daughter of the King
-My son is a Prince, a son of the King of kings

Go, take this “new” role and live as a child of God by showing love to the Commoner. And, no matter what mistakes you have made (like Tamar), you can still be used by God. Keep your intensions pure and He will use you - even if you are ill-equipped or have repeatedly made poor choices (as evidenced in my own life!).

Go, love your King by loving others. Be ready to be used in a mighty way by the King of kings...you Princess (or Prince).

A Prince!

(overalls and all - ready to work alongside his Princess sister!)

(In case you were wondering, these are my children:

G just turned 3 yrs. & Z is 21 months.)