The Princess Myth

A Princess??

Princess according to Miriam Webster:
a female member of a royal family ; especially: a daughter or granddaughter of a sovereign

I’m going to get on a little soap box for a minute
(those outspoken types can do that from time to time – story for another post). Here goes...

I have always had a problem with the whole princess concept. Parents sometimes call their daughters Princess, they tell them they are princesses and Disney makes millions (maybe billions) on the idea of the Princess (and the Prince).

Honestly, it makes me sick. Very few people on the face of this Earth are princesses (seriously, we could count them up)...or so I thought. To me the idea of teaching my daughter that she is a princess is like saying: the world revolves around you honey – get used to it! Well, that isn’t true. [Myth]

A household does often revolve around a new baby – at least initially. Families that never move beyond spending every waking minute telling the child she is perfect and a princess becomes, in my opinion, dysfunctional. Child = center. Child gets disappointed. Parents (and others) work harder to let child know she is the center of the universe. Child grows up and realizes it was all a lie. Child (now adult) is waiting for handouts and for someone to fix her problems. How do I know this? I work with adult students at a university and many of them suffer from this experience.

When I think about a princess I think about people in training to become the queen. Queens sit on thrones (at least in my head). Princesses look pretty, wear nice things, comb their hair and live a self-centered existence (check out Disney). They don’t have or respect their mothers. They are selfish.

Now I must admit that I was never a girly-girl. My sister was but I wasn’t. I did do ballet and tap for many years, enjoyed crafts and wore braids and a few dresses. However, I loved to collect worms (and scare my mother), swing from ropes, play in the creek, ski, camp and more. My girliest interest: Strawberry Shortcake and her clan.

I am so thankful my mother didn’t raise me to be a princess in the traditional sense (sit around, expect doting, and wait for the knight in shining armor – another princess-associated myth that brings heartbreak after heartbreak for many teenage and adult-age women).

As the mother of a 3 year old daughter, I’ve realized how difficult it is to shield my child from this whole Disney/pop-culture princess deal. Some GOOD NEWS (an a-ha moment) occurred in the last year when a Christian mom of three (including one daughter) pointed out that all Christian girls/women are all daughters of THE KING – The King of kings. That by definition makes us princesses. [Myth Buster]

After pondering this for a while, I realized that I could let go of some of the anti-princess approach I’d been taking. Instead, I focused my attention on promoting the following with my daughter:
a. Becoming a daughter of the King (salvation)
b. Living like Jesus (the Prince of Peace)
c. Being a Princess who serves others (versus just looking pretty while being waited on/spoiled rotten by others)

Now some of you might read this and think I was off the deep end – princesses are a part of every little girl’s life but honestly, this concept DID NOT work for my family. Sorry. Now armed with the new princess focused on loving God (King), loving Jesus (Prince) and loving others (the commoner) I have semi-embraced this approach for my daughter being a Princess.

Perhaps this will help her to avoid so much heartache from expecting too much from others and waiting for a guy to come along and rescue her. (It must be a difficult a challenge for those guys - being a Prince and meeting the needs of his Princess??)

Think about it…helping girls to grow up to become women with at least one less area of misunderstanding in their own lives.

My daughter seeing herself as the daughter of the King (a princess) – wow! That sounds great and is really the most important role we have as Christian parents (stewards of the children with whom God has blessed us)!

Other revelations:
-I am a Princess (as much as that use to turn my stomach)...a daughter of the King
-My son is a Prince, a son of the King of kings

Go, take this “new” role and live as a child of God by showing love to the Commoner. And, no matter what mistakes you have made (like Tamar), you can still be used by God. Keep your intensions pure and He will use you - even if you are ill-equipped or have repeatedly made poor choices (as evidenced in my own life!).

Go, love your King by loving others. Be ready to be used in a mighty way by the King of kings...you Princess (or Prince).

A Prince!

(overalls and all - ready to work alongside his Princess sister!)

(In case you were wondering, these are my children:

G just turned 3 yrs. & Z is 21 months.)

Ms. Understood? Get Smart!

I Y the title of this book! All women think they are Ms. Understood. But ask yourself this...
God - who do YOU say I am?
Identity in Christ is really all the understanding you need.

Men vs. women; the battle of the sexes; girls rule, guys drool; we've all led a cheer at some point in our life to take a stand for our gender. But how about a new cheer?
GIVE ME AN E ! GIVE ME A Q ! GIVE ME A U - A - L !!

Not only are we created as equals, we are equally blessed by God. How awesome is that?!

When I was young I wanted to play 2nd base for the St. Louis Cardinals. In my mind I was convinced it was possible. Obviously this lofty goal I set for myself did not come to fruition! I didn't give up, I simply understood it wasn't in the cards (no pun intended). I mean, God gives us grace, but he didn't exactly give me grace, if you know what I mean! I used to play coed softball with my husband and decided it just wasn't for me when I made all 3 outs in one inning for our team! I was the best player the other team had!

Jen says in her book, 'Unique from each other yet set together, we are mankind. We are gifted differently but our power is in our union'. While men and women are equal, it does not mean we are the same.

A perfect example: I love giving cards for special occasions. I mean, cards are just fun to look at and you know how exciting it is when you find the perfect card for someone? I think this is a woman thing because guys just don't care! No really - trust me - they don't! I have given many a perfect card to my husband's guy friends and I'm still waiting on a reaction, from ALL of them. I've been told over and over again by my husband that I'm wasting my time - and our money - but I keep doing it. Now if I gave a perfect card to a girl friend, she would proudly put it on display, show it to all her friends and have a hard time throwing it away.

When I think of Tamar, there would have been several opportunities for me to spend time picking out a perfect card for her. She went through so much! I could give her mulitple sympathy cards going through the death of 2 husbands, some good girlfriend cards she would need for a good laugh after dealing with her father-in-law, and finally a congratulations card on the birth of her twin sons.

Ah Tamar - now that's one smart cookie! A little harlot perhaps, but smart! Theoretically (stressing this word!), I know I've been where she was. I've been used and gone through mourning. I can wear black with the best of them. But, I can pull myself out of that mourning and live again.

Was I always this way? HECK no! As I've grown as a woman, I find all kinds of strength and street smarts I definitely did NOT possess as a teenager or young adult. I used to think it was cute to be dumb. The dumb blondes got all of the attention from the boys so why not just play dumb? I mean, it wasn't Andrea Zuckerman that the guys were in to, it was Donna Martin and Kelly Taylor (Julie - the 90210 reference was for you!). There was a girl in my youth group who was a dumb blonde. Once in Sunday School she was asked to read scripture out loud and she said, "Do not covet your neighbors....butt?!?" She didn't want to say ass - as in donkey - which she obviously did not get. But everyone laughed and in my mind, it got her lots of dates.

Let me end by saying - women - the stupidest thing you can do is dumb yourself down!!! My husband thinks I am smart and he digs that about me too. God made women to be smart and He entrusted them and their smarts throughout His word. We all have God-given, built-in common sense, let's start putting it to better use!! If Tamar hadn't, a piece of the lineage of Jesus would be missing!