Judging & Bodies

Choices –I couldn’t decide which one to write about this week so you get both:
1. Mothers & what they teach their daughters about Body Image
2. Judging from the outside

Topic #1: Body Image -
This past week I watched a morning news program segment on what mothers teach their daughters about body image without even realizing it. It comes from when we stand in front of mirrors and complain about how our butt looks, how we have “bad” hair, etc. In these situations we aren’t talking about our daughters but we are modeling an attitude and a behavior that they will likely adopt as their own in the coming years. Sad but isn’t that part of how we established some of our own body images (issues, attitudes)?

The recommendations from the segment participants included
a. STOP complaining about your body – especially in front of your children.

b. If you are going to complain, focus on the pants – not your butt. “These pants aren’t flattering ” versus “My butt looks big.” Focus on something that you can change (the pants) and not on God's design/your body.

c. Your hair – really is there such a thing as “bad hair”? Ask a person undergoing chemotherapy about hair. Really, isn’t your hair “good”? Maybe you have messy or thin or stringy or highly textured hair but not bad hair.

d. Be careful. You are modeling behavior that you’ll likely see in your teenager/adult children.

Then I read chapters 6 & 7 in Ms. Understood. Boy was I reminded of three things:
- It’s most important to focus on the light within (and model it for my children)

- Real beauty is on the inside but paying a little attention to the outside isn’t always bad
(That seems to come naturally for us former Tom-boys when the 40s are approaching. It’s called gravity!)

I also wanted to note that people can become obsessive about external beauty (spending hours and hours and tons of money on products and clothes) and not focusing on the inner beauty. This is not healthy. Trust me, I was once a member of a family like this. The judgment from the primpers to the non-primpers can become tiring! Do we really need to point out these external imperfections? No. Instead, commit to highlighting the internal beauty within your family and friends.

- The need to be vulnerable (something that as an oldest child in a large family, a single woman & now a single mother, has had to take a back seat in order to survive from day-to-day – or at least so I think.)


I was also reminded of the importance of not referring to our family rear end as “big”… ! :)

Summary: Think about your words, actions, attitudes and even facial expressions. Celebrate the very special body God provided to you. He made you just the way HE wanted...even if it doesn't match the 90 pound model on the cover of the magazine at the checkout counter.

You are teaching by example. Be sure to teach that YOU are a special gift from God, designed by THE One who also created the universe! You are special. And maybe this role-modeling will wear off on your own attitudes about your imperfect but uniquely-designed body!


Topic #2: Judging from the outside:

Look at this photo.

Honestly, how would you describe (categorize) this family?

I think it's human nature (or at least our current culture) to classify people. In Jesus’ time it was Jew/Gentile; circumcised/uncircumcised. In America it is often: white and everything else; native/immigrant (legal or not); educated or not; American or not; white collar/blue collar; working or welfare, etc.

When I became a mother I instantly became a member of a multiracial family. I didn’t think much of it at the time – I was a new Mama falling in love with a precious bundle of joy. I knew I could pretty much love any child with whom God blessed me – period. Thankfully, that was true. However, I didn’t fully comprehend how others would classify/judge my family and/or me specifically.

In the past year, I’ve become aware of the sociological concept of cognitive dissonance – a theory that says it is normal to need to make sense of things that seemingly don’t make sense. That doesn’t always make it easy for those who are members of the family that “doesn’t make sense” to the average onlooker. The Mama bear in me worries about the impact on my kids.

Reading the chapters this week I am reminded that others have traveled this journey before and God had a mighty plan. I think of “Rahab the prostitute” and “Ruth the Moabitess” – “…one for her sin and the other for her heritage (Rahab).” p. 109

We get that at our house too. Well, not actually in our house but when we exit our house and enter a world where people need things to fit together. Here are the looks and comments we’ve received:

- Lesbian women who have adopted kids.
- White woman who sleeps around (One child is biracial black/white and the other is Puerto Rican. In general white people don’t notice this but black people do.)
- Oh, a white woman I could date (from black men)
- Black man’s baby mama (another white woman left by a black man)
- A white woman trying to take the black men (from a black woman)
- My child can’t play with your 2-year old child because she’s black (seriously, that has happened!)

OK, can these be anymore stereotypical? I didn't make this stuff up!

Just to let you know, we are:
- two white single Christian women – not lovers but rather SISTERS!;
- child with two parents (child of divorce);
- child with a mother (no father at all – yes this is possible);
- a sister who has stepped up and agreed to be an actively involved support network.
Yes, adoption was involved.

Our family is a middle class family with a college educated working professional mother. But, people try to classify us to fit into their preconceived molds. They are often wrong in their assumptions.

What gives me reassurance is that although judged by their behaviors and their race/ethnicity/heritage, God had a large plan for Rahab and Ruth – to be great, great….grandmothers to the Savior of the world!

I’m pretty sure that God has a unique and wonderful plan for our family too – even if/despite the fact that world spends so much time trying to figure us out. Go family!

My point: If your family doesn’t fit the “typical family mold”, remember Rahab and Ruth!

Beautiful Women

Can I just claim "pass" on this subject? Yeah, that's it...if I just keep procrastinating...maybe God will send me a "pass".... hmm. Obviously, God isn't letting me "pass" on this one. Rats!

Isn't it so easy to get caught up in the worldly idea of beauty instead of God's? I am more like a "bull in the china shop" than that dignified women. I wasn't blessed with lots of physical beauty. I don't always say the right things or do the femine thing. Sometimes LIFE doesn't help that any. Please read the following with the humor that it was written...

Maybe you can relate to some of these:

• Born with an eye problem that still creates a lazy eye. Even cloudy days "hurt" my eyes and I must wear sunglasses just to be outside for 15 minutes & squint unattractively. (I am sure you can imagine the name calling and teasing that started as early as Kindergarten.)
• I love sports and would rather wear tennis shoes and t-shirts than get dressed up. (My family and I have joked for years that my wedding will be matching T-shirts on a Basketball Court or Softball field.)
• I hate playing games so I didn't do well at flirting...or did I do it at all.
• In High School I was always the "friend of" the person everyone wanted to date and was often entangled in the "do you think she likes me"...can I just say NO, but I DO! =)
• THE PHRASE: "You are going to make a great Mom some day." (Great...do you think I could have a date first?)
• Another "GREAT" idea: You'll meet Mr. Right in college...everyone does and gets married. (8 brides maids dresses later....) So did I "blow" college by not finding a mate? =)
• Two of my best friends (one HS, one College) were both Homecoming Court, Cheerleaders, BEAUTIFUL (inside & out), Academically gifted, and to top it off...they both were in the Miss "State" Pageant and one was 1st Runner Up...twice!
• And now...I'm am an over 40 never married, single female who really needs to get back "in shape".

If we took all that (without the humor it was written with) and put it next to the world's ideas, then we would say...FAILURE, UGLY, UNSUCCESSFUL. Fortunately, that's not how God sees us...Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart! 1 Samuel 16:7

Being totally honest...I haven't often celebrated being a beautiful women created by God. I loved the perspective Jen had in these two chapters. It's the balance of it all. The inward stuff...integrity, hard working, honest, faithful. But, that doesn't mean neglecting the outside. It's all about balance. God made men & women different...duh! Not one better than the other, but unique and special. Thanks Jen....I needed my "balance meter" reset! LOVED the Ruth story from that perspective...Beauty inside & out!

You are beautiful. Celebrate being female without neglecting the inward qualities. We should reflect our Beautiful Savior...outwardly & inwardly. Both of mine needed a little "spring cleaning"...how about you?

Keep your BALANCE ladies! 1 Samuel 16:7

Joyce

Beautiful Women (Ruth) and other Jesus Stuff that Rocks My Socks off!

This book (especially these chapters) rocks my socks off!

“Let’s attempt to get on Jesus’ side rather than making Him choose ours” (Hatmaker pg. 102)”
I love this! Why do we finite human beings think we know it all and have it all together? Why do we put God in a box and make up our own rules? God/Jesus Christ is way above us and so much more powerful than us. He does not need us; we need Him; not once a week only on Sundays or only once things go wrong/bad, but every single day.

“Friend, you are loved by a God who attends to brokenness.” and “But no loss, no sin, no heartache removes your title as daughter of the Almighty.” (Hatmaker pg. 108)
I think too many women today get caught up/lost/stuck in past sins (even current ones) and think that they are not worthy, good enough, or deserving of Christ’s love, acceptance, and free gift of salvation. I don’t know about you, but I know what brokenness and heartache are all about because we live in a fallen and evil/sin-ridden world. People will let you down/disappoint you/walk out on you, but the most important thing to remember, believe, and have faith/trust in is that God will never leave your nor forsake you. He will always keep to/stay/fulfill His promises. He loves us no matter what.


“I refuse to quantify God’s methods or scope. Jesus is the way, but we can’t determine who has genuinely encouraged that resurrected Jesus and who hasn’t. Jesus said that two groups will be surprised when this life is over: those who flaunt their self-righteous merits only to hear, ‘I never really knew you,’ and those who will be welcomed into heaven asking, ‘Lord, when did we ever love You?’ and He’ll reply, ‘Whatever you did for the least and lost people, you did for Me’ (see Mathew 25:31-41). The incarnation of Christ is divinely activated and divinely discerned. Paul reminded us, ‘Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand’ (Romans 14:4). Believer’s, may we never show contempt for God’s mercy by restricting it to a Western experience.” (Hatmaker pg. 110)
I love this! There are people I know in this life/world that seriously think it is our God-given right and job/will in life to judge and point out people’s sins/faults and point out fruit in people’s lives and lack there of. I am totally against this (unless your brother or sister is living in sin and is hurting themselves or others it’s very acceptable and encouraged to follow Matthew 18). I think that too many Christians are quick to assume, judge, point out, and say who is going to heaven with Jesus and who is not strictly based on works, opinions, and theologies - not faith or service/love for people and God.



MY FAVORITE! “Jesus’ church members have always preferred exclusivity. Then: Keep out the Gentiles, keep out the uncircumcised, keep out the skeptics. Now: Keep out the homosexuals, keep out the prostitutes, keep out the sinners. I can’t square this with Jesus’ ideas, like how His church is a hospital for the sick and a sanctuary for offenders. Or when He said that the greatest display of our faith is how we love people. Loving people isn’t the same as condoning sin. Welcoming into your church a stripper who hasn’t yet quit her job isn’t endorsing her career choice. (Ditto homose xuals.) It’s saying, “Look, this church is full of people with sin habits, some of which we know about and others successfully kept secret from everyone else. If there are two hundred of us in this room, someone here is hooked on porn, a few are poisonous gossips, somebody is being eaten alive by hatred toward whomever, somebody’s having sex outside marriage, quite a few wish they could, several of us are in the grip of envy, and so on. The church is packed with sinners, and the stripper isn’t worse. What we care about is that the sinners here are in the process of letting Jesus forgive them and clean up their lives.” (Hatmaker pg. 111)
Wow! If all churches/church members/church employees/Christians/followers and servants of Christ thought/acted/spoke/lived like this then what a ministry/impact/stand/difference we would have on the world/people around us. If our true mindset was like this then maybe outsiders/people who feel like they don’t belong in a church pew will actually come to church and find Jesus through the people there because they are loved and accepted despite their looks, sins, and lifestyle.








“Do you see the power of beauty? It invites, it inspires, it makes a man crazy. There is nothing a man won’t do for a beautiful woman, one of integrity and kindness. Boaz’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest. Gorgeous, compassionate, strong work ethic, humble, loyal Ruth—he fell all over himself to protect her. This is what beauty does to the heart of a man.” (Hatmaker Pg. 121) and “Nothing evokes tenderness in a man like a beautiful woman.” and “It was the beauty of Ruth’s feminine heart—vulnerable, humble, but still courageous and faithful. Her tenderness was untainted by her circumstances.” (122).
I have seen this in many couples/men/women/marriages/relationships; especially with my cousins and a few of my friends who have already gotten married. A woman and her inner and outer beauty really does change a man; he becomes more endearing, loving, sweet, humble, goal-oriented, determined, a leader, and a lover. I pray that some day in God’s timing, in His way, and with His best for me that I will make a man crazy with my integrity, kindness, passion for God and for people, compassion, work ethic, humbleness, loyalty, honesty, tenderness, beauty inside and out, vulnerability, courage, faithfulness, and even my faults/flaws/silliness.

-Sarah Maurer

Are you an "Inie" or an "Outie"?

‘You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful - she is beautiful because you love her.’

What an amazing quote! And it completely encompassed the essence of Ruth. After reading this week, I realized although Jen’s ‘Truth’ in chapter 7 is ‘Women are beautiful’, the Biblical book of Ruth never speaks of her physical appearance. Her beauty came from her inner being and because of that you can’t help but love her.

Ruth was:
Steadfast
Loving
Obedient
Industrious
Generous
Loyal
Humble
Grateful
Worthy
Redeemed
Rescued
Blessed

Ruth is a Proverbs 31 woman!! The list of words to describe her ‘Beauty’ could go on forever - she was the real deal! When was the last time you got ready for a night out and didn’t concentrate on your outer beauty, but rather focused on how your inner beauty could shine through? Anyone can bedazzle themselves in to looking good for appearances sake, but can you bedazzle others to see the glow from the inside that is so strong they don’t even consider your outer beauty when describing you?

Remember – Proverbs 31:30 says, ‘Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.’ I would say Ruth was in fear of the Lord because when she left for an unknown land instead of returning to her homeland, she knew exactly what she was doing – following God.

So what are you - an Inie or an Outie? May your inner beauty shine through just like Ruth!

Beauty Comes From Within

Have you ever met someone who was beautiful on the outside, but once you got to know them, they were so ugly on the inside that their outside beauty faded?  Or maybe you know someone whose inward beauty makes them appear more attractive on the outside.  In her book, Ms. Understood, Jen Hatmaker says,  "Our glory doesn't come from outward adornment, be it physical or circumstantial. Our beauty is patterned after God's; our visual beauty is a reflection of character."

One of the most beautiful women in the Bible is Ruth.  

Did you know that:

• Ruth is one of the very few characters in the Bible to be mentioned in both the Old and New Testament?
• Ruth was a farm girl, but she gave one of the most eloquent speeches known in history when she promises Naomi she'll go with her to Bethlehem?
• The story of Ruth is so ancient that it was a thousand years old when Jesus was born?
• Ruth is one of just two books in all of Scripture that bear the name of a woman? (The other one is Esther.)
• Ruth is Rahab's daughter-in-law?
• Ruth is the grandmother of King David?(ruthofthebible.com)

The Bible doesn't talk much about Ruth's physical appearance, but Ruth's inner beauty is demonstrated in her faithfulness and dedication to her mother-in-law, Naomi. "Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. The LORD do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me." (Ruth 1:16-17 NKJV) 

Now, I love my mother in law to death.  She is an amazing woman, but if my husband died, I'm not sure I'd be willing to leave my friends and family to follow her back to the farm in Indiana.  In fact, I'd probably pull an Orpah and hightail it straight back to Phoenix!  Because Ruth was beautiful on the inside, she became more beautiful to those that knew her.   Just ask Boaz.  He found her pretty hard to resist!

I stumbled across this great quote the other day: 

" Pretty is something you're born with. But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective!"

I have come to accept a few things about my own physical beauty.

1. I will never be tall (5'3" is all I can aspire to) 

2. I will never be sexy (cute, but not sexy)

3. I will never have great hair

4. I am getting older by the day (I can now round my age to 40)

5. Gravity stinks!

The good news is that I am BEAUTIFUL in the eyes of my Savior.  He created me in his image and he loves me the way that I am.  "The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord." (Psalm 45:11)

(T)Ruth and Beauty

As I was reading this week I took my bookmark out at Chapter 6 and laughed. Here is a picture of what is on my bookmark.

I have to say, this was a tough topic to write for me. What woman wants to discuss the subject of beauty when there are too many expectations and opinions flying around! I don't wear make-up, have no problem going out in public with 3 day old bead-head, and don't shave my legs every day (or every week for that matter!). Growing up my mom said no man would ever marry me because I ate spaghetti with my fingers. Plus I ordered cheeseburgers and not salad. I'm not one to starve for appearance sake - I need food! People food - not rabbit food.

Beauty is a subject I cannot relate to very easily - or can I?

I decided to take it to the streets - aka my fellow choir members at church I roped in to this. I asked them (men and women) to answer this question:

'What makes a woman beautiful?'

Here are the responses I received:

Her spirit

When she is transparent and true and Jesus shines through!

Inner beauty - genuine kindness to others - Love of God

"God's make-up" :) and nothing else :)

The way she gazes at her husband and children.
How they share their love.

Her presence!

When I see the Lord's light in her eyes.

Her heart because it is through her heart that her eyes and face shine and she carries herself in the confidence of her Savior and Abba.

Wow - I didn't even give them that much time or direction and their responses were this amazing!

Now - how would I answer that question? I believe there are 3 kinds of beauty:

1 - Outer beauty

2 - Beauty from within

3 - Beauty in the eye of the Beholder - God!

Let's focus on number 3 because it's definitely the most important.

1 Peter 3:3-4 says:

'Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.'

Amen! Can I get another Amen? Ladies - primp all you want - tease, straighten and dye your hair - wax and bleach your eyebrows - enjoy your mani and pedi! But remember, your true beauty lies in your gentle and quiet spirit, precious in God's sight!

Here is what was so beautiful about Ruth...she was loyal to Naomi and because she was, she aligned herself with the Lord and His people. She didn't look back like Naomi's other widowed daughter-in-law Orpah (NOT Oprah ladies). Orpah's choice was to stay behind in Moab - in an un-Godly world of crime and violence - and she eventually perished. Ruth followed Naomi back to her homeland and flourished amongst God's people. Eventually she married again and bore a child on her way to staking her claim as a woman of the lineage of Jesus.

In Ms Understood Chapter 6, Jen says something I just cannot let go of...'Loving people isn't the same as condoing sin'. If I had a soap box I would preach this all day long. We don't have transparency in the church like we should. And guess what? We need it like a skinny kid needs cake! We have become shunners of future people of Christ - shame on us! God does hate sin - but He does NOT hate the SINNER. We should all be thankful because we have ALL fallen short. Everyone should be welcome in to the body of Christ - not just minor sinners - and who is to say what is minor when a sin is a sin?

Recently I heard someone say as Christians we are so busy telling the world what we are NOT, when we should shift our focus and tell them what we ARE. If we can love others without judgement, their hearts will be open to hear what the Holy Spirit will share with them through us.

This week, be a Ruth - not an Orpah. Follow God, not a nation.

Rahab: Truth #2 Woman are brave risk-takers. BUT, are we willing?

The truth of Rahab was not only was she brave... she was willing.  I have times where I am brave and willing to risk but, those two attributes most of the time to do not align. I can talk a good game... and be brave and sometimes when faced with the put it in action (willingness)... I can shrink back into my hole (disobedience) with the best of them. 

I love truth of Rahab... she was just enough. She was willing to help God -- be named an ally in a dark, destructive and sinful world despite she was unwelcomed and unworthy. So, as much as I admire Rahab's willingness and obedience... am I following the truth of the message of Rahab? 

The following message as penned by author Jen Hatmaker is the calling of Rahab: Redemption is for everyone, not just those who seem unworthy. That often necessitates a period between debacuchery and libertation. Can you fathom how many live in that gap? Can you see how many souls are left on the proverbial salvation table when Christians won't stand by - much less love- another so broken? 

Are we loving the broken? I know my agenda, tasks, need to be all I need to be for my own family handicaps my ability to stand by or love those who Jesus would have embraced. 

Standing by, being willing and above all noticing the needs of others will bridge this gap between lost and salvation. Graciously, Jesus set that example... of course, our call is to faithful, willingly and obediently follow this example. 

Simple gestures of kindness and care will demonstrate God's grace and execute Jesus's plan to stand by those in need.  An example was shared in our church service today of meeting others needs, to me this was a brave Rahab woman, reaching across the gap to show genuine care. 

A woman from my church was leaving a doctor's appointment and noticed a lady sobbing, running past her to leave the medical building. The church member, followed the lady to her car where the sobbing woman locked herself in her car. The lady from the church, convinced the woman to open her car door and pray with her. The sobbing woman had just learned she was diagnosed with cancer and swallowed a bottle of pain killers. The woman from the church convinced her to return to the medical building for help. The sobbing woman had recently lost her father to cancer and was overcome with hopelessness of her much too recent diagnosis. I don't know the end of the story, but I am confident the bridge has been constructed, a new friend made and God's love shared. 

I have kept thinking, so, had our fellow brave God-loving woman decided to mind her own business and not be God's ally this day, a soul would be lost.  How easy it would have been to just walk to our own car and whisper a short pray on behalf of the sobbing lady.  But, brave action is required, God is calling us, just like Rahab, despite our unworthiness to get involved. 

In our world, it is easy to slump behind the computer and communicate, drive into the garage and lock down the doors, walk into a grocery store and not talk to anyone. We could possibly go days without being involved with others with very little effort. 

However, this is not our call as believer's in Jesus Christ. Jesus was interacting, meeting others needs. He was brave despite the rejection and gossip that surrounded his life.  We also are required to walk boldly and bravely but, above all... be willing to act on the call of God's whispers when he commands to meet the unwelcomed and unworthy with his love, care and grace. 

So, don't elevate yourself as a believer in Jesus Christ... know we are called to be in the trenches, to be his willing vessel to do his work in a dirty, complicated and idol-worshiping land. 

Pray the obstacles that prevent you from being willing are crumbled, be aware of the broken in your daily life and seek opportunities to meet the needs of others and engage your world with God's love. 

Working at being a brave and WILLING ally, 

ElizaBeth

??

I must admit that this week, I am having a difficult time writing. Why? Rahab appeals to me. She reminds me of myself in many ways (no, I'm NOT a prostitute!) and that results in a unique challenge in my writing.

So, here is what I came up with:
1. Grace - I have been saved by grace - the same grace that weird, stinky, unique, "different" people can be and have been saved by grace...but why do we still judge?

2. Faith - I have an incredible faith. I know God is in charge and I can't recall too many times when this has been shaken...One that stands out is a situation that surrounded the adoption of one of my children. (I must protect this information and not share all of the details in such a public forum in order to protect my child's privacy.) Let's just say that the thought of losing a child that you've raised for a period of time due to an unforeseen legal glitch can shake your faith - even just for a moment. In this specific situation, I really wanted to lie to protect this child but in the end told the truth. God was faithful - yet again revealing a mini-snapshot of all that he provides for us! My faith in Him reconfirmed once again and I am grateful that we did not become one of those families handing over a child to his/her birth family live on national TV! Thank you, Lord!

3. Commitment - I tend to be a pretty committed person (at work - I'm mission driven; at home - I'm committed even if others aren't; in church...hmmmm....maybe that is a place where I can use some help.) Seems I've been "church shopping" for a little too long...Been there? Yeah, I think I need to commit.

4. Courage - Cognitive dissonance is a psycho-social concept that I recently studied. This is when there are inconsistencies between one thing and another (e.g., single white woman with two children of minority race (different at that) ... um, can she be a Christian? Can she live a Godly life? Boy, does she "get around"...

I must admit that it takes courage to live this life. Thankfully, God has granted me abundant courage and although I often have to take a deep breath and let things go because our family doesn't "fit" the traditional mold, I have been blessed by courage.
Now, my real fears come from: fire & eye inquiries.

5. Obedience - Now you've hit the nail on the head. I sometimes have challenges in being obedient to God's will. You? Specifically, I am somewhat intolerant of incompetence; drives me a little nutty. Sometimes I say things I later regret. For this I need to remind myself to obey God's command to love one another - even when others perform below my expectations! :(


I wish for you: grace, faith, commitment, courage and obedience. May you be committed to welcoming people who don't fit the traditional mold into your world (work, home, church congregation, play group, athletic team, coffee break, etc...) God has offered both of you grace; you have something in common even if it doesn't appear so on the outside. Be obedient to his command - love one another (and keep reminding me of this too!).

Be brave.
Be loving.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Be Brave

I applaud all the BRAVE women on the Rahab side of the story! So many brave ladies have crossed my path lately. Like Rahab these brave women have been stepping out and trying to follow Christ. Maybe you are one of them because you are going to a church for the first time, moving to a new city, stepping away from a wrong relationship, protecting your children, overcoming an addiction, starting a Bible Study or making career adjustments just to follow Christ. It can be difficult, but like Rahab…God sees you, loves you, and has big plans for you. Be Brave!

Sometimes it is hard to know…are Christians actually “for” anything? We seem to make such a reputation for ourselves about what we are “against” more than showing God’s love. We seem to forget that God loves people and accepts them at the point they come to Him. He doesn’t ask them to get cleaned up and be perfect before He loves them. He accepts you just the way you are, but loves you so much that he won’t leave you there…just like Rahab!

It amazes me daily the way God’s Spirit draws people to Him…in spite of how we (Christians) act! Sometimes when we have been a Christian a long time or in church forever it is easy to be tempted to become a “holy huddle”. Look around you and your fellow Christians…would it be easy or hard for someone new to feel accepted and loved. Would they have to change their dress, attitude, social status, race or language just to talk to you? Even wilder…would you knock on their door? Do you go out of your way to make others feel comfortable? Do you watch for the "Rahabs" and go the extra mile to befriend them? If not, why not? Here’s the challenge…Be Brave. Make a shift. Look for it. Jesus came for ALL of us and let's face it...hung out with sinners.

Be Brave – whether you are on the Rahab or Spy side of the story – Be Brave! We all have the free gift of GRACE and need to show it to others! God has big plans for all of us and wants to use us in mighty ways…Be Brave!

JJ

Welcome In Our Church?

Would Jesus be welcome in your church, or would you be worried his blood would stain the carpet, get on the pews, or offend someone? I believe it is through hurting people that Jesus comes to us to see what we will say to or do with them. When we die and go to heaven will He say He knows us because we fed Him, gave Him a place to stay, and love Him, or will He say He never knew us because we went to church, read our Bibles, did good things, but didn't stop to love Him through the homeless, prostitutes, drug dealers, widows, orphans, abused, neglected, and hurting?
These chapters really hit home for me. I tend to be very passionate about a few things and one of them is how we as Christians/the church body sometimes shun, judge, and push away people/ ‘sinners’/ anything different.
I love what Jen says on the bottom of page 79; "When is the last time a dirty homeless man was welcomed into your church service, not just its food pantry? What if a hooker aligned herself with your women’s ministry? What if God selected someone like Rahab to deliver His Word or His people? Who would listen to her? We’d be so uncomfortable with her sin; it would be a matter of “Someone deal with this so we can get rid of her.” Rahab’s story is beautiful news to the Rahabs but often not welcomed by the pew fillers. Redemption is for everyone, not just those who seem worthy. That often necessitates a period between debauchery and liberation. Can you fathom how many live in that gap? Can you see how many souls are left on the proverbial salvation table when Christians won’t stand by—much love—another so broken? It is a short step into grace; Jesus made it so simple. The divide is no greater for a prostitute than for a preacher’s daughter. Often all a person needs is one friend to show her the way, but we are too preoccupied with “speaking truth,” “rebuking,” and “being set apart” to make contact with anyone under our spiritual rank. Had this been God’s position, the Bible would be half its length; we’d be left with tabernacle dimensions in the Old Testament, and much of the New Testament would be thrown out because it was written by a reformed terrorist.”

This makes me think of the songs by Casting Crowns

• “If We Are The Body”
• “Does Anybody Hear Her”
• “Love Them Like Jesus”

Believing We Are Brave

Ok, I have to admit that I did not read this week. Where does the time go??? I know that I have to make a post every Wednesday and every Wednesday morning I wake up saying, "OH NO, IT"S WEDNESDAY!" I am pretty sure it comes the same time each week, but still I "forget" it's Wednesday. So admitting that, I skimmed the chapters and what stuck out for me was about the Brave Women. We can each be brave, but there is a certain fear that I think tries to take us down every time we try to be brave.
I know in my life it takes a lot for me to believe that I can do certain things. How many times do we tell ourselves, "If God is with us, who then can be against us"? But do we really believe that and take that to heart when we have a difficult situation we are facing?

Here is what God promises us...
*You did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." (Romans 8:15)
*God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:17)
*Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 3:6)
*On my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. (Acts 2:18)

When we feel God pulling us to do something, if we can remember theses promises, we can accomplish the impossible!

Have a great week and BE BRAVE!

Amazing Grace That Saved A Wretch

AMAZING GRACE HOW SWEET THE SOUND, THAT SAVED A WRETCH....
I've always wondered what exactly a wretch is...so I looked up the word in the dictionary.

Wretch
1 : a miserable person : one who is profoundly unhappy or in great misfortune
2 : a base, despicable, or vile person

Oh...so a wretch is someone like Rahab. A common harlot, a lady of the night, an outcast clinging to the very bottom rung of the social ladder. What could she possibly have to offer the God of the universe? He would never bother with such a bottom feeder. But wait a minute... the song doesn't say saved a wretch like Rahab....it says "saved a wretch like me". Like me? How can that be? I'm not like Rahab at all. I'm the daughter of a minister, the wife of a pastor....I've never been a prostitute....but there it is in black and white..." saved a wretch like ME".

Let's be honest here. Haven't we all looked down on the Rahabs of the world? Those we consider under our spiritual rank. We are so quick to judge telling ourselves that their sin is bigger than ours or it's worse than ours, but you know what? The same grace that saved Rahab is the same grace that saved me (and you). It wasn't earned and it certainly wasn't deserved, but nonetheless it was given freely to us by God. In her book Jen Hatmaker says, "It is a short step into grace; Jesus made it so simple. The divide is no greater for a prostitute than for a preacher's daughter. All the blessings of the covenant of mercy belong to you. If you have but a simple faith, you will yet comprehend how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ that removes our shame, develops our courage,and crowns us with honor. Unfathomable is His grace."

Thank you Lord for an Amazing Grace that saved a wretch like me!

The Fear Which Project

I never thought I would be cheering on a prostitute in the Bible but go Rahab! Could I have been so brave to defy a King? Probably not - and unlike Rahab, I have the knowledge of God's power and love! I'd probably just stick my 'No Soliciters' sign on the door and be done with it.
Our family has a secret doorbell ring to alert each other it is us at the door so it's okay to answer it. I'd tell you what it was but then I'd have to invite you in. Wow! Is this how we prepare to answer when God knocks? And He does knock, just ask Rahab!

Fear is a tough one. We all have fears - here are a few of mine:
Moths
Scuba Diving
Turbulence
Hair Balls
Confrontation
Loss
The unknown
Being alone
Death

You see how my fears went from nonsense to seriousness so quickly? Fear is unrational. As Christians, fear is unnecessary!! The opposite of fear is faith.
The chapter title of Hebrews 11 is 'By Faith'. Verse 31 says:
'By faith Rahab the prostitute did not perish with those who were disobedient because she had given a friendly welcome to the spies'

'Don't be Afraid' is the most frequent command in the Bible. There are specifically 2 types of fear in the Bible. Think of it as the 'Fear Which Project'. One is detrimental and the other is encouraged. Which do you have? Hopefully it is the encouraged fear of the Lord. Can you imagine living with no fear?

As I'm writing this post, Matt Redman's song 'Never Let Go' is playing over and over again in my mind. It honestly sums it all up way better than I can. The lyrics say:

Even though I walk, through the valley, of the shadow of death - Your perfect love is casting out fear - And even when I'm caught - in the middle - of the storms of this life - I won't turn back I know you are near - And I will fear no evil - For my God is with me - and if my God is with me - Whom then shall I fear? - Whom then shall I fear?

There are a lot of brave women in the Bible. I just finished the Beth Moore Esther study and if you haven't done this already it is a must. Talk about a brave woman - Esther stood up to fear and came out on top. All in God's plan of course. With God on your side, who could be against you? Next time a killer moth flies right at me, I hope I remember to call on God to cast away my fear!

Have a fearless week!

Greater Than? Less Than? Equal?

Week 1, Chapter 1-3.... Ms. Understood is not begging the question whether woman are greater than, less than or equal to men...   I believe the question is Do you believe you are the apple God's eye?

I am amazed how much this book has stirred my existence in the last few days... 

My pre-reading prediction was I'd end up with more guilt about not reading or studying the Bible more or not being closer with my God. I'd read through this book, trying to decide am I all I should be for my Lord or am I submissive enough ...as that is the holy command for woman of God, right?

But joyfully, this has not been the case... I have been shaken by the joy and encouragement God has filled my heart with a new view of my role as a woman of God.

My old view was a helpmate, the organizer, the keep on top of everything to keep the family going, train up children who, like their mother seek God's favor.

My radically, invigorated new view includes a gleaming tiara and the title of underdog!

So, first the tiara:

From Psalm 8:5: " I've put a tiara of honor on your head."  Straight from God's word: woman we must believe we are chosen, we are God's crowning jewel to his creation. We were the final touch of his creation. We are his glory bearers. We are the little girl standing before a loving God... who brings us the only validation we need. He loves us unconditionally, there is nothing we can do to undo his love, favor or opinion of us. This is so liberating knowing that I am  a prize position of the God of the Universe. 

The message, Jen Hatmaker delivers about woman is powerful when she explains that God has chosen us to be adorned with talents, beauty, charm and humor.  She paints a moving moment of when Jesus will take one look at us and say, " I would have died on that cross if only for this one." 

The key to this message is that you believe. Believe in the God who speaks the truth.  Trust and Believe is the command of our God... take heart that this is your calling, not to seek the validation of others... just trust this message and believe this God adores you, his tiara-wearing, glory-bearing, chosen woman of God. 

Next, here comes the underdog: I have been in Sunday School and Bible Studies since I was born and had never heard the tale of Tamar.  Tamar is God's story of his faithfulness to those who are underdogs caught being bullied by those who make up the rules of life as they travel along. These folks (Judah and company) that Tamar was tied to... elevated themselves above God, took advantage of others, refused to obey laws, and had stone-cold hearts.  Tamar's life is a demonstration of God's "affinity for the hurting and his zero tolerance for those who take advantage of others and situations".

Tamar married into a family that was chosen, but refused God's favor and blessings. She was abused and abandoned by these men, yet, God found his favor in this woman. Being the underdog can be hurtful, devastating and just plain rotten... however the tale of Tamar, for me showed that God's heart is passionate and frantic to deliver the oppressed. So, resting in his promise to right the persecuted is true, complete and powerful for those of us who at times in our lives fall prey and wear the cape of the underdog. God always, always has the back of the underdog. 

Stand strong knowing, that God always has your back.

Tamar also reminded me of a wise woman, who I just have to believe knew this story when she stated, No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt, 'This Is My Story,' 1937. 

Tamar was not disqualified by any one's opinion. She did not give in... she showed integrity and cleverly overcame. She did not resort to be acting like the victim, she activated her God-given intelligence. She did not give into nagging, gossiping, threatening or complaining. Strong lesson there... yes?

I urge all woman to RUN to read and share this message in Ms. Understood with friends, family and especially young woman... may you see your God lovingly and proudly raising you up as a woman of favor. 

The Princess Myth

A Princess??

Princess according to Miriam Webster:
a female member of a royal family ; especially: a daughter or granddaughter of a sovereign

I’m going to get on a little soap box for a minute
(those outspoken types can do that from time to time – story for another post). Here goes...

I have always had a problem with the whole princess concept. Parents sometimes call their daughters Princess, they tell them they are princesses and Disney makes millions (maybe billions) on the idea of the Princess (and the Prince).

Honestly, it makes me sick. Very few people on the face of this Earth are princesses (seriously, we could count them up)...or so I thought. To me the idea of teaching my daughter that she is a princess is like saying: the world revolves around you honey – get used to it! Well, that isn’t true. [Myth]

A household does often revolve around a new baby – at least initially. Families that never move beyond spending every waking minute telling the child she is perfect and a princess becomes, in my opinion, dysfunctional. Child = center. Child gets disappointed. Parents (and others) work harder to let child know she is the center of the universe. Child grows up and realizes it was all a lie. Child (now adult) is waiting for handouts and for someone to fix her problems. How do I know this? I work with adult students at a university and many of them suffer from this experience.

When I think about a princess I think about people in training to become the queen. Queens sit on thrones (at least in my head). Princesses look pretty, wear nice things, comb their hair and live a self-centered existence (check out Disney). They don’t have or respect their mothers. They are selfish.

Now I must admit that I was never a girly-girl. My sister was but I wasn’t. I did do ballet and tap for many years, enjoyed crafts and wore braids and a few dresses. However, I loved to collect worms (and scare my mother), swing from ropes, play in the creek, ski, camp and more. My girliest interest: Strawberry Shortcake and her clan.

I am so thankful my mother didn’t raise me to be a princess in the traditional sense (sit around, expect doting, and wait for the knight in shining armor – another princess-associated myth that brings heartbreak after heartbreak for many teenage and adult-age women).

As the mother of a 3 year old daughter, I’ve realized how difficult it is to shield my child from this whole Disney/pop-culture princess deal. Some GOOD NEWS (an a-ha moment) occurred in the last year when a Christian mom of three (including one daughter) pointed out that all Christian girls/women are all daughters of THE KING – The King of kings. That by definition makes us princesses. [Myth Buster]

After pondering this for a while, I realized that I could let go of some of the anti-princess approach I’d been taking. Instead, I focused my attention on promoting the following with my daughter:
a. Becoming a daughter of the King (salvation)
b. Living like Jesus (the Prince of Peace)
c. Being a Princess who serves others (versus just looking pretty while being waited on/spoiled rotten by others)

Now some of you might read this and think I was off the deep end – princesses are a part of every little girl’s life but honestly, this concept DID NOT work for my family. Sorry. Now armed with the new princess focused on loving God (King), loving Jesus (Prince) and loving others (the commoner) I have semi-embraced this approach for my daughter being a Princess.

Perhaps this will help her to avoid so much heartache from expecting too much from others and waiting for a guy to come along and rescue her. (It must be a difficult a challenge for those guys - being a Prince and meeting the needs of his Princess??)

Think about it…helping girls to grow up to become women with at least one less area of misunderstanding in their own lives.

My daughter seeing herself as the daughter of the King (a princess) – wow! That sounds great and is really the most important role we have as Christian parents (stewards of the children with whom God has blessed us)!

Other revelations:
-I am a Princess (as much as that use to turn my stomach)...a daughter of the King
-My son is a Prince, a son of the King of kings

Go, take this “new” role and live as a child of God by showing love to the Commoner. And, no matter what mistakes you have made (like Tamar), you can still be used by God. Keep your intensions pure and He will use you - even if you are ill-equipped or have repeatedly made poor choices (as evidenced in my own life!).

Go, love your King by loving others. Be ready to be used in a mighty way by the King of kings...you Princess (or Prince).

A Prince!

(overalls and all - ready to work alongside his Princess sister!)

(In case you were wondering, these are my children:

G just turned 3 yrs. & Z is 21 months.)

Smarter Than We Look

Ms. Understood...ok, so let's just start out with the tough subject...Do I believe women and men are equal? I loved Jen's thought...while we are equal, we are not the same. We should celebrate our differences, but it can be a daily struggle. Let's face it...I am NOT a "prissy" girl. I love sports and don't really like to shop. Being a female Ministry Leader on a church staff over the last several years has been...well, interesting. It is tough...especially the years where I was the ONLY female leader...and the first female leader the church had ever hired...then there is the whole "Single, never married thing". Where was THIS book then? Ms. Understood...I think that was actually my "title". Oh the roller coaster of it all! =) However, I wouldn't trade the friendships, love, and lessons learned there! God is just awesome in how HE weaves things together! Which brings us to Tamar and some of the lessons I am learning. (yep, active in that...learning NOT learned)

T: Tapestry
As Tamar we are a beautiful tapestry that God is weaving thread by thread. The final masterpiece won't even be revealed on this side of heaven! Look at Tamar...it doesn't tell us that she KNEW she would be in the lineage of Jesus, but she is one of only a few females mentioned in Matthew 1. God's weaving us into a beautiful masterpiece, but sometimes the threads break, we get worn or torn, but God's got the final tapestry all planned.
A: Assess the Situation
It doesn't tell us that Tamar went "kicking and screaming" back to her father's house. She doesn't appear to get all emotionally "out of control", but it does tell us she wanted to have kids. How disheartening that must have been. She didn't fly off the handle, but she also didn't just roll over and die. She used her brain. She stepped back (although "sent" home) and assessed the situation before making her move.
M: Masterful Movement
When the time was right, she "made her move". I often jump in emotionally without being masterful. If God tells me something is "right", then sometimes I have to wait for the perfect opportunity to "make my move".
A: Action
Take action! When God opens the door, gives the green light, or provides the opportunity then it is our job to "go for it". In Tamar's case, Judah was coming her way. Tamar didn't just decide to "have kids" with just anyone...she went for the lineage that was supposed to be hers...as it turned out...the lineage of Christ! Our lesson, when it's time to be BOLD then go for it! We don't pick fights or stir up issues, but take action when needed.
R: Reflect God's Glory
The bottom line...do the things that give God glory. For everything we do should be something that will reflect God's Glory. It's all for HIM. In Tamar's story...Judah had to admit that Tamar was actually doing that better than he was.

To quote one of my co-workers...work smarter, not harder!

JJ

He Knows My Name

I have to admit, I was a little resistant to buying, picking up, and reading this book because in my mind I was thinking; “Oh great; another hot pink feminist book trying to make me feel like I should stand up against men, they should respect me first and then if I choose to I will respect back, etc.” BUT after reading the first chapter I couldn’t put it down. Many times I have been reading in my room out loud (I do that a lot-that’s how I learn) and when I start busting up laughing because Jen Hatmaker is so vulnerable, passionate, real, honest, and says it how it is; kind of like me sometimes (so I have been told), my family members wonder who in the world I am talking to and laughing with; I just say; “Don’t worry. It’s just Jen Hatmaker- the author of this awesome book I’m reading about what/who God thinks/says I am in Him and its so excited and joy-giving!”
Even a few guys at the church youth group sarcastically asked; “What’s up with the girly hot pink book your reading?” and I was quick to wrap up the book in a few sentences that went something like this; “I know it looks like a lame feminist girl book, but it is so cool and this author who is a pastors wife goes through the 4 women in Jesus’ genealogy and she is so passionate about God, how we are his princesses/daughters, and she has such a heart for the hurting/outcasts/needy/poor/shunned people of our world, which I really love.”
I can really relate to Jen’s heart/passion/compassion for other hurting/oppressed/persecuted women and children in our world; “When I hear of our Islamic sisters being beaten into submission and of the genital mutilation performed on the five-year-old girls of some African groups, my heart cries out for holy intervention. The baby girls of China are thrown out like garbage, and Vietnamese families are selling their daughters into sex trafficking for $150 or less” (Ch.#1 - pg. 19). Psalm 103:6; The Lord works righteousness and justice for ALL the oppressed.
I enjoy reading how Jen reminds us through God’s word that; “As a woman, you are precious and worthy, important and necessary. You hold value within your relationships, and, more important, you were credited with value the moment you were born. That basic human value transformed into a stunning holiness when you took the name of Christ. Before you were a daughter, sister, wife, mother, you were a delight to God, who designed your every facet and sent you to earth, a gift to all who would know you.” (Ch.#2 pg. 42). Psalm 139:13,15-16; You created my inmost being . . . My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
One of my favorite quotes of Jen because I can relate at least 3 days a week when I walk the halls of ASU or malls of Scottsdale; “So help me, I’ve had it. If I see another vacant, self-absorbed socialite carrying a little dog and posing for cameras with that practiced glance over the shoulder, I’m going to vomit. I would love to wrap my hands around their underfered little noodle necks and make them put their cleavages away and wear some underwear, because my daughter is a tween, and as God is my witness, the first time she speaks one adoring word about Britney, Paris/Nicole, Jessica, Christina, or “L.L.” it’s only a mater of time before I’m named in a restraining order.” (Ch.#3 pg. 51).
If you have never read about Tamar’s life crack open your Bible right now to Genesis and see what this woman went through, and at first glance you may think; wow what a sinful little whore, but God used her in magnificent and wonderful ways. Have you ever noticed that God does not create junk/trash, but he creates treasures. We (us judgmental and sinful people) make people look like junk. God used a lot of “sinful” people in the Bible to do His work and bring Him glory. The 4 women in Jesus’ genealogy were all prostitutes/harlots in some way. Read Tamar’s story below;
In Genesis chapter 38, Tamar is first described as marrying Er, the eldest son of Judah;[2] according to the text, God killed Er because he was wicked (although it doesn't give any further details),[3] and so Judah asked his second son, Onan, to have sex with Tamar, so that the offspring could be declared Er's heir.[4] The narrative implies that Onan didn't object to the sex itself, but performed coitus interruptus so that there wouldn't be any offspring he couldn't claim as his own, so God killed him.[5] Judah is portrayed as viewing Tamar to be cursed, and is therefore reluctant to give her to his remaining son, Shelah;[6] he first tells Tamar to act like a widow, until Shelah, the youngest son, has grown up,[6] and then when he finally does, he still won't give Tamar to Shelah in marriage.[7]
According to the text, after Judah's own wife had later died,[8] he decided to use a prostitute at Enaim; the prostitute in question was Tamar, who wore a veil, making herself unrecognisable.[9] The passage goes on to state that Judah offered to pay her a goat in arrears, but she asked for Judah's staff and seal as security towards this payment;[10] having given her this security, he made her pregnant,[11] but when he later sends the goat, she has gone and taken the seal and staff with her.[12] The text states that three months later, Judah is told that Tamar had been acting as a prostitute, and had become pregnant as a result, so he orders that she should be burnt to death;[13] Tamar sent a message to Judah with his signet ring and cords and staff; and announced that the owner of the items is the father of the children. Judah recognises them, stating that she is more righteous than he is. Judah, afterwards, takes her in to his house, but does not have any more sexual relations with her. Tamar later gives birth to twins (Perez and Zarah). Perez is in King David and Jesus Christ' lineage.[14]

No matter what you have done in your past; sin, regrets, guilt, etc. . . . . God can still use you for His glory. Believe me; I am living proof of this. Every Christian woman is. We weren’t born God’ children/daughters of The King/princesses .. . . . .that happened once believed in Jesus and what He did for us on the cross/started living for Him instead of ourselves/once we started following Christ/accepted Him/chose to remove ourselves from the throne of our lives and put Him there. Righteousness, justification, sanctification, and holiness take time; even once we think we have it all together/that we are doing good/think we are a pretty good Christian . . . . we fall – flat on our face. Why? Because we live in a sinful world and we are humans with sinful and human hearts. If it wasn’t for failures, mistakes, sin, wrong choices, temptation, and living in a fallen world I think I would forget that I need a Savior and His name is Jesus. Through suffering, pain, trials, and hard times we are humbled, made more like Him, draw closer to God, and realize and understand that we need Him above all else.
As a 1st-born, A-type, strong-willed, stubborn, passionate, loud woman . . . . . . its very easy for me to go through my busy days without stopping to realize, thank, and acknowledge God in my accomplishments and productiveness. When I look back at my day, week, month, and sometimes year I am humbled and at the same time shocked at how many times I allow myself to do things on my own without Him and they are usually times that do not go so smoothly and then I look at the times that I did have faith, hope, and trust in God; those are the times that not only was I able to bless others, but in return God blessed me too.
Thank you God, Tamar, and Jen Hatmaker for reminding me who I am in Christ; God’s daughter and princess, a child of The King, special, unique, wonderfully made, made for a purpose, and that I am here on earth to bring glory to His name and glorify Him in everything I say and do; wow – what a challenge we have before us; that WWJD thing isn’t so cheesy after all because I feel the important need to take every thought, word, and action captive and ask myself before I say or do anything if it glorifies God is vital in today’s world.

Who Am I???

OK, I have to be honest, when I first started reading this book I didn't think I would like it at all. I am reading a book now called "Help Meet" by Debi Pearl- which I also recommend; however, it is a completely conservative book about how we are to be our husbands helper. I think most people have a horrible view on what it means to submit and I won't get into that now, but I don't think it has to be one way or another. After reading the first couple chapters of this book I realized that we can serve others so much easier if we can hold onto the TRUTH of what GOD thinks of us and not of what others are thinking of us.
I LOVE the way Jen reminds us how God loves us and views us...
"You are the work of my hands; I'm showing off through you." (Isaiah 60:21)
"I have chosen you, and my Son prays for you when you feel condemned." (Romans 8:33-34)
That is so important to remember everyday. Ladies- we should be memorizing these verses and repeating them over and over in our minds!

If you have any question who you are in Christ, PLEASE read Ephesians. I think the first few verses speak volumes.

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he[d] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
In him we were also chosen,having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.


WOW!!! Are we going to believe what others tell us or are we going to agree with our Maker and Savior that we are holy and blameless?!!

I recommend this book to anyone who has had someone tell them they aren't good enough, because you are! We are each uniquely made by God and he loves us all so much! :)

Label Maker

I laughed out loud when I read Jen's description of herself in chapter 1. If I didn't know any better, I would swear she was describing me.

"White, middle class, daughter of functional parents, minister's kid, honor student, little Miss Churchy Churcherton, teacher, pastor's wife, soccer mom, suburban dweller, Bible teacher, Starbucks enthusiast."

I am a label maker and at some point have used all of the above to try and define who I am. Not sure why I have the incessant need to label. Maybe it's because I need things to fit into their nice little box in order for my world to make sense. Maybe it's because I have an ongoing battle within myself between who I am vs. who I think I should be. What a relief it was to find out that I don't need to find my identity this way. Instead of putting a label on myself (or letting others do it for me) I should be asking, "God, who do YOU say I am"?

Here is what Jen has to say in chapter 1.
"Our design was invented in the heavens, sisters. We are uniquely formed for God's glory. We are deliberate and beautiful, diverse and powerful, sealed by the name of the Most High. He took great care to create us, every detail and facet. In Him our identity is settled. We are daughters of the King-valued, adored, crucial. Anyone else's take on us is irrelevant."
Did you read that? "In Him our identity is settled. We are daughters of the King-valued, adored, crucial. Anyone else's take on us is irrelevant."
Translation: labels mean nothing. Our identity comes from HIM and HIM alone.

In chapters 1-3 we read the story of Tamar, another woman who lived by labels...Canaanite, widower, childless, flawed....Not all flattering labels to say the least, but you see, just like me, Tamar didn't need labels to define her. It didn't matter what others thought about her or how she perceived herself. She was welcomed into the lineage of Jesus anyway. Her labels didn't disqualify her. God used Tamar and he can use you and me despite ourselves.

The Bible says in Psalms 139:13,15-16: "You created my inmost being...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body, all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."


If you have not gotten this book yet, I suggest you run, not walk, to your nearest Christian bookstore and pick up a copy. It is captivating, inspiring, and absolutely hysterical! I want to be Jen's friend. She is witty, engaging and this book completely destroyed any preconceived notions I had on being a Godly woman. Thanks Jen for reminding us that we find our identity in HIM.

Ms. Understood? Get Smart!

I Y the title of this book! All women think they are Ms. Understood. But ask yourself this...
God - who do YOU say I am?
Identity in Christ is really all the understanding you need.

Men vs. women; the battle of the sexes; girls rule, guys drool; we've all led a cheer at some point in our life to take a stand for our gender. But how about a new cheer?
GIVE ME AN E ! GIVE ME A Q ! GIVE ME A U - A - L !!

Not only are we created as equals, we are equally blessed by God. How awesome is that?!

When I was young I wanted to play 2nd base for the St. Louis Cardinals. In my mind I was convinced it was possible. Obviously this lofty goal I set for myself did not come to fruition! I didn't give up, I simply understood it wasn't in the cards (no pun intended). I mean, God gives us grace, but he didn't exactly give me grace, if you know what I mean! I used to play coed softball with my husband and decided it just wasn't for me when I made all 3 outs in one inning for our team! I was the best player the other team had!

Jen says in her book, 'Unique from each other yet set together, we are mankind. We are gifted differently but our power is in our union'. While men and women are equal, it does not mean we are the same.

A perfect example: I love giving cards for special occasions. I mean, cards are just fun to look at and you know how exciting it is when you find the perfect card for someone? I think this is a woman thing because guys just don't care! No really - trust me - they don't! I have given many a perfect card to my husband's guy friends and I'm still waiting on a reaction, from ALL of them. I've been told over and over again by my husband that I'm wasting my time - and our money - but I keep doing it. Now if I gave a perfect card to a girl friend, she would proudly put it on display, show it to all her friends and have a hard time throwing it away.

When I think of Tamar, there would have been several opportunities for me to spend time picking out a perfect card for her. She went through so much! I could give her mulitple sympathy cards going through the death of 2 husbands, some good girlfriend cards she would need for a good laugh after dealing with her father-in-law, and finally a congratulations card on the birth of her twin sons.

Ah Tamar - now that's one smart cookie! A little harlot perhaps, but smart! Theoretically (stressing this word!), I know I've been where she was. I've been used and gone through mourning. I can wear black with the best of them. But, I can pull myself out of that mourning and live again.

Was I always this way? HECK no! As I've grown as a woman, I find all kinds of strength and street smarts I definitely did NOT possess as a teenager or young adult. I used to think it was cute to be dumb. The dumb blondes got all of the attention from the boys so why not just play dumb? I mean, it wasn't Andrea Zuckerman that the guys were in to, it was Donna Martin and Kelly Taylor (Julie - the 90210 reference was for you!). There was a girl in my youth group who was a dumb blonde. Once in Sunday School she was asked to read scripture out loud and she said, "Do not covet your neighbors....butt?!?" She didn't want to say ass - as in donkey - which she obviously did not get. But everyone laughed and in my mind, it got her lots of dates.

Let me end by saying - women - the stupidest thing you can do is dumb yourself down!!! My husband thinks I am smart and he digs that about me too. God made women to be smart and He entrusted them and their smarts throughout His word. We all have God-given, built-in common sense, let's start putting it to better use!! If Tamar hadn't, a piece of the lineage of Jesus would be missing!